.:~Bucklean~//The Green Petals\\~*:.

thinkings

2006-08-26T17:22:00.000+08:00

these whole week is quite horrible.. u can say.. its just weird i guess.. and ppl dun really understand it when i say weird. but its plain weird.. and once again.. im reminded of how drama i am.. well.. tts the way i am..

try and change me.. and i'll bite.. muahaha

had lots of fun and lots of frustrating times too.. dunno if the devil is all out to try and get me or wat.. first sally sick on wednesday.. then sick on thursday, so no cell.. then sick on friday again so no cell.. just when i need my spiritual norishment.. but i guess God is definitely tryin to tell me sth here.. its not like every week get the spiritual norishment i need to get me goin for the rest of the week or wateva.. its more like a life long relationship.. and just when things go wrong.. one finds all the things one finds comfort in, either useless or gone.. everything.. every fren one can turn to.. even cell gone.. cos sally sick..

thats when the lesson comes: look into God.. not only when ur comfort items are not there.. but look to God first.. cos everyone can die, everyone has their own lives.. they wun be there for u FOREVER.. God is the first priority.. always.. nth should come before Him..

changing my blog skin latr.. time i move on. and not be so drama.. down to earth is the best.. just like weite said.. i changed.. well.. since its a good change. well.. tts good aint it?

this wk is weird.. so weird..

time to move on.. no more drama.. yeah.. more down to earth.. i hate it when i realise that wat i decided to do and change is sth that ant has been tryin to tell me for like gosh noes when.. seem like im such a not down to earth person.. but wats a person without some.. imagination? heh

so sad tmr cant go church..need to go scarlet.. hm.. dunnno how it'll be yet.. fingers crossed on that.. suddenly my mum's droning seem to hav taken effect on me.. sigh..

my arm hurts from dm and training.. sigh.. i need to really train more..

i dun like down to earth.. all my fun gone...all the drama.. hee..

life is that way it is..

sometimes.. maturity aint that good

2006-08-20T09:39:00.000+08:00

now, well fed and had a nite slp.. and now sian until like dunno wat, i can start blogging bout ytd.. haha

i realise i like to suan that kevin person. cos its so fun to suan him! ha!

anyway.. went to jon's house with wayren and ky.. and met kok and yuwen at tamp interchange.. so we went tgt.. haha.. note to self: nv wear skirt again.. actually didnt know wat i was thinkin !!! argh.. so embarrasing!! ><

argh.. so stupid me!! anyway.. we got there.. and felt abit weird cos its all guys.. and they are sitting (and occupyin all the seats) at the sofas thingies there.. then the gals went to sit at the.. wat u call it.. back thingie.. sth like tt la..

haha.. i got sian so start playin guitar.. buut my skills really suck.. and only know that one and a half songs.. -.-

o.. i ate some pizza.. argh.. forgot to eat the mash potato!! T.T

anyway.. jon planned ice breakers!! haha.. pick two names and they have to play the game!! me and yaoyu suppose to play.. alot of ppl laughed.. and i still dunno y.. haha.. anyway.. sigh

everett got slightly ... cant say pissed.. rather.. tired of our childish ways u can say?.. i guess its sth like tt.. but hes fine now.. according to carol.. hm.. and also.. i realsie im beginning to understand carol less and less.. but yeah.. shes definitely changing.. suddenly.. i realise.. everyone is changing.. everyone is not like what i thot they are like.. good and bad.. its like.. madhu being late cos she wanna queue up to eat!! and left me at the foyer for 20 minutes!! i mean..wats her freakin problem?? didnt she have enought sense to think that i might be waiting?? sigh.. nvm lar.. not like im such a righteous person..

carol also.. shes changin into a better person i guess.. but i jsut dun understand her!! sigh.. me, carol and everett are the only ppl who pms alot.. i find it funni.. but its not good.. sigh..

ok.. back to jon's bdae.. when the ice breaker started... me and yao yu start going up the stairs.. to avoid the commotion downstairs!! haha.. we are so pro lar.. but i think we died early anyway..

after that they start saboing jon with all kinda of stuff.. poor jon.. such a good sport and all.. yeah.. then latr after the cake and stuff.. everett and ant and dono and yao yu left le.. hm.. then we see jon open presents.. haha.. jon is so funi lar!! =)))

now.. its reflections time i guess..

2006-08-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

things just gets better i guess!! =)

really glad on how this week has been turnin out.. and though my work load should be seemly huge or wateva, im quite happy with it toO! haha yay

just that i think im a bit sick.. so dunno if i'll hav to stay at home tmr again.. i dun mind actually.. hee.. i mean well.. i AM sick.. then need to rest wah.. cant wait for the end of the term..

jon didnt ask me go his bdae thingy.. haha.. all e gals didnt.. sort of reminded me of ant.. ha..

really really happy now.. thanks to God.. but i really wish i can shoot nx yr for rg stilL.. SO GOD, I PRAY THAT U'LL BLESS ME AND LET ME SHOOT FOR RGS NX YR..

lookin at this yr.. it has been quite wonderful!! ok.. maybe the first term wasnt the fabulous.. then after that i think it just gets better heh? i've nv been so happy in my whole secondary school life before!! yay

but i think now im ill.. seriouslly

hm..

yeah.. damn happy.. bought a nice book for bible studies and random thots and all.. quite fun.. but quite waste money hor? sigh.. sorri worr..bleh..

movin house...

life is great

sigh

2006-08-11T18:14:00.000+08:00

im stressed.. and everytime i wanna blog i'll always end up being too tired or wateva crap..

tmr is ps.. the day we've been waiting for. cant wait to see wats in the goodie bag... not that its free.. but cos its gonna be great memories to me.. maybe after the concert we stay late enough, we'll be able to get ps's signatures!! wun that be cool??? so happy yay

yeah.. so tmr meet at 5 at changi.. i still have a feelin half the ppl will turn up at 5.30 or sth.. i dunno wat to do lor.. i really wanna just say i dun care lor.. but tt will just piss ppl off and somemore its for God leh.. how can hav this kinda attitude.. shesh..

ant tokin bout how hes been gettin more and more ignorant to small details in life that hes suppose to take note.. well.. if its serious to him, i find it no reason not to be of any concern for others to help.. aint it? but i just feel abit bu hao yi si.. cos im like tt leh.. like everything heck care.. kena sent to straight dc also like scold teacher like that.. so how? am i like a bad influence to ant? then like tt i dun wan le lor.. i rather jus like.. not tok to him lar.. then he can continue to be his angel.. yeah.. shesh.. i really need to change..

but sometimes its not up to me i guess.. frens, peer pressure.. and when i try to stick to wat i believe in and ppl dun really see y im doing so, they just dislike Christianity more like tt.. i really dun wan that to happen.. so how.. nvm lar.. slowly slowly learn lar =)

i still have no idea wat i'll be wearin tmr and i still duno wat chili's reaction will be towards our high-ness tmr during ps.. but im not gonna stop myself from the usual stuff i do during worship just cos of that.. loL.. serious.. but hope she'll see it with an open mind.. really happy tt shes going for ps.. really really happy.

the link below is to new set of shots.. i love jingna lar.. she rocks rocks rocks.. yay yay.. dun care wat ppl say lar.. its freakin nice to me leh.. yay
http://www.zemotion.net/100806/

ok.. enough ego time..

still dunno wat to wear tmr.. argh.. how how how how.. yeah.. shall ask bird!!

i still need to do chinese.. i'll do now!!

hm..

2006-08-11T00:38:00.000+08:00

haha.. hectic week.. tts all i can say.. and now its already friday. hard to believe heh aww.. im so tired.. i think i'll go slp ..nite

love u

bored

2006-08-07T18:35:00.000+08:00

since i got nth better to do, i shall blog like a super long blog entry or sth..

just cant wait for saturday, ps and all.. and like going shoppin for the shirts and chili's shoes and all.. hope chili will like ps.. really hope so.. and still dunno wat to wear on saturday.. i need to wear sth white.. bleh.. how how how how how.. help me help me help me.. sigh

2006-08-07T16:24:00.000+08:00

ant say wat we think is extremely amusing.. extremely dramatic i guess.. loL..

i just like my life this way now..
rite now.. loL

church was great.. i was damn stone at first.. but it ended well!! need to get more tix for ant.. bleh.. see im so nice..

anyway.. met renxiang, of all ppl, at my parents' shop.. i was super shocked.. didnt know he recognised me too.. kinda fun..

now im freakin ful.. shall no tell u how much i ate.. im turnin fat.. maybe .. nvm

God bless.. suddenly dun feel like bloggin le.. some problems will continue to be there unless we take e effort to stop it i guess.. yeah.. i dunnno leh.. maybe ppl are just too unwilling to give up sometimes?? yeah.. but givin up is good.. yeh

finally fixed my wire.. at least can tok all i want without havin to hurt.. so hapy
im slpy.. i shall go slp

HAVEN

2006-08-06T09:16:00.000+08:00

You are my anchor, my shelter, my HAVEN..

like everett said.. its like spreadin e gospel!! but its not that strong.. so ppl should still find it comfortable..

yeah.. its kind of fun lar.. went to play dm in the morn...then rushed to chili's house to do abit of chinese pt.. then went back to home to bathe and rest abit.. then rushed to clementi.. i THOT i was goin to be late..

was stonin there and ant said he'll reach in ONE MINUTE.. end up reachin in like 5 minutes plus.. weixian even worse.. dunno wat time then reach.. so me and ant stone to wait for weixian lo.. and its super funni cos we sort of stood in the queue for another bus without knowing.. anw, we sort of got lost and couldnt find the stupid macs.. so we end up eatin at some KFC, which we thot was at the side of the plaza thingie where the macs is.. but as u expected it.. it WASNT.. so it was kind of VERI SCREWED.. so we sort of walked one big round..

i feel kind of bad.. cos ant wants to get to sch earlier to meet his fren who just came back from UK.. but i sort of screwed up.. anyway, we end up takin taxi and since i paid.. i feel slightly better i guess.. hee..

ok..got to acsi, and the place was freakin nice!!! aww.. called everett for him to come out and give us our tix.. good thing they kop seats for us already!! =)))) then in the small row we were sittin at, got two CHIO BUS... turn out to be esmond's frens.. funi heh.. he ALWAYS got chiobus frens.. im a gal.. and i dun hav so many lor..

anyway.. we sat the two most outside seats, then one empty seat, then the two chiobus.. then everett and esmond then nick i think.. then latr dunno wat everett moved to beside me so that ant's UK fren (james?) can sit there.. poor ant had to sit at the row infront of us.. sigh.. anyway.. the chiobus were askin everett sth then they said sth like: yes rite? u are blushin!!

ha ha.. i think they are askin him bout.. me?? ee.. dunno lar..

then latr esmond and everett left their seats to dunno do wat.. then they chiobus ask me if i like everett -.-... but now i know y they think so in the first place.. maybe cos he moved to beside me!! yeah.. so BIG DEAL.. ha..

haven was nice.. ed rocks rocks rocks.. hes so professional!! like a natural!! its too bad he cant be the lead or sth.. i look at him.. i think of the primary school days.. i feel proud of him somehow.. like he really lived to his dreams in primary sch and probably the most.. ACOMPLISHED 6ab-er.. =).. so proud to hav such a great exclassmate!! loL

ok.. the exciting part.. INTERMISSION!! GUESS WHO ME AND WEIXIAN SAW.. SHAWN ANG.. there were so many ppl!! we were so luck to find him!! yay yay yay yay.. everett calls me gone case.. but nvm lar.. SHAWN ANG.. hes not really wat u call shuai.. but hes my idol!! so freakin fun to see him lar!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.. then we were like freakin out cos of it.. and the whole intermission was so enjoyable cos of that.. then after haven also!! we keep seeing him lar.. cos we got nth better to do anyway.. until wayren ask us to go find the others..

o yeah!! ELISA!! nvm i nv find a shuai guy other than shawn ang.. but i got to know real nice person!! haha.. jon's fren!! elisa.. shes freakin nice and she LOVE GREEN.. omg omg.. and shes so devoted Christian like tt lar.. such a pro person.. ahhhhhhh..

on the bus journey home.. it was so freakin cold.. and everett HAS to wear his jacket.. cos he was under the aircon.. and i was freezin.. sigh..

i need to shit.. tata

2006-08-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

hm.. cant wait for haven.. they say it rocks..hope so lar.. pay so much money.. and tmr need to pay them le.. pay ant 30 bucks.. hm.. abit the no money ar.. hee.. o well

saw everett's nick: everyone needs one(haven), somewhere.. sth like tt lar..

haven.. hm.. i wonder.. sometimes.. its just.. like a shoppin trip with frens.. tts when u find peace.. true joy.. dun hav to act in any sort of way to cover up ur insecuries.. u can act in the way u wan.. and feel comfortable about it..

quite stressed actually.. dunno wat to do..

but i know tmr will be a good day..
so now i should go and slp.. yup yup.. but then tmr dinner thingie how?? aiyah.. sms ant or sth lar..

nite everyone
GOD I LOVE U..

=]

2006-08-02T16:51:00.000+08:00

=] cute hor?
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ok.. enough.. loL..

today was ok lar.. just realise some ppl are really lyin through their nose.. well.. i guess it should be intolerable to me cos i make it a pt to myself not to lie about anything.. but i guess im ok with it.. only tmr go and complain to the 'authories' and see what he'll do about it? im quite stressed actually.. but im not.. after this blog post i think i'll just go and rest abit before mugging geo and all..

friday will be mugger nite.. i'll really do all the stuff i can.. cos saturday going shopping and all.. o oyeah.. my mum dun allow me buy stuff.. which is kinda funny i guess.. cos shes not someone who will stick to her principles and all, shes easily affected, shes only preventing my from doing certrain things cos she just think its inappropriate for my at this age.. well but when she see other china parents, whose children also in sec 3 and in rg, well.. she sort of get moved and stuff and start.. changin? fingers crossed that she'll let me.. im serious enough to go and send an all (well, almost) chinese email explaining y i requested for money to buy clothes.. she say i already got enough.. but i just think my wardrobe is one word: pathetic.. sigh.. not that im rich, so i shall be contented with wat i hav =]

o yay.. mum just called to say that she allow my to buy the clothes.. see mature ways always word.. but of cos.. im using it as a tactic!! im just sincere.. must thank God.. though i dun even dare pray for it!! haha.. im so happy now..

english lesson was ok today.. i sort of like that dude; mr CHONG. how to rmb his name? anabelle chong!! loL.. sorri but tts really how i rmb one.. yeah.. cle was damn slack.. so its quite cool.. and i realise im slpin more and more in class.. hm.. cannot like tt.. so today immediately after dinner come home then i shall slp!! loL.. close to that anyway.. yeah.. so i think maybe i should leave soon le.. like now.. im hungry man..

THANK YOU GOD.. I LOVE U!!!

2006-08-01T17:03:00.000+08:00

just smile and be happy.. loL

people actually read my blog!! loL.. its sort of an experiment(the small font) now come to think of.. comon.. we have a blog.. might as well have some fun with it, yeah? as in.. if its so small.. it may arouse people's interest to actually read it.. but then latr they'll be sadly disappointed that its so senseless and full of crap.. o well.. but i should not care so much bout wat others think bout me rite??

cant wait for friday, then me braces might be bracing me goodbye.. loL.. not funni joke.. suppose to call up the people to go for shootin and stuff... but i think im too lazy.. loL.. i'll do math in the morn tmr and all. but wat im worried about is actually geo. so i dunno wat to do.. hm.. i shall blog until lastest 8..then i'll go and call the ppl for shootin..then i'll go pack my stuff for tmr and then i'll go mug geo.. yes yes.. brilliant.. so by 9 i should be offline.. yes yes.. nice plannin.. somehow these lame plannins make me feel more secure..

dunno if i should go for gcyc or not.. really torn.. but nvm.. shall worri bourrit latr..

ant was real sad just now.. maybe not..dunno.. maybe he just felt unhappy.. but nvm .. now that he happy le.. =) see i so pro.. always can make my di dis happy.. im such a great jie jie..

haven sounds fun lor.. too bad only me and weixian going.. will try to make the best out of it!! haha.. but the shoppin part.. still dubious about it.. but nvm.. will just pray that it turn out fine!! beginning not to understand everett again.. which kind of suck cos i dun like to not understand him again and knowing the fact that anything i can think of to say will have a good reason to piss him off, knowing his character.. but quite glad, actually supper glad that ant ask him go for youthnet thingie nx saturday.. then maybe pray tt they'll really really just touch his heart and he'll really really change.. somehow.. its like wat i've been praying for comin true!! so now i should pray even harder!! yay.. which means i better finish this whole crap by 7.45

im just awfully happy now.. and also abit sad.. but shall not say y.. lol.. its like.. i dunno.. ant? maybe?

o yay they gonna have a prayer meetin before national celebration on tuesday!! it'll be so cool!! i cant wait!! rg doing sth!! its a miracle!! WOOO HOOO

troubled

2006-07-30T20:06:00.000+08:00

im yes.. well, troubled.. hm.. veri troubled..

but u can say i had a great day u know.. muggin with bird.. shoppin for jon's presssie.. makin ben treat us.. and of cos.. most imptly.. going to church and really being glad about it.. really wished everett was there.. pastor khong finally touched on the subject of the real truth and all.. but i hav a feelin its not wat everett wants.. and well.. hes not jokin when he said: its either my way or no way (actual words: the high way, but since its sounds so gay.. i shall change it for him.. loL )

its no joke.. hes really like tt..

and well. ytd me and chili found those skimpy photos on everett's comp.. i mean.. its not surprising .. but i just sorta.. feel sad cos of that..

sigh.. tts everett lar.. and since carol say ant said hes changin already.. i cant expect too much out of a person.. esp when im imperfect myself? and chili can alwyas pt them out to me.. so its kinda cool.. but i dun deny i feel shes sorta too sensitive at time.. but its good too.. cos i realise sometimes i wanna be cool and outgoing and thus sort of got damn insensitive.. so i need that sensitive influence..

i dun deny that i do find flaws in ppl close to me.. but i know i'll learn to appreciate these flaws.. because criticsing these stuff wun make u any better.. yeah..

ok.. back to everett thingie that im well.. troubled over.. sometimes i love him.. sometimes im glad i hav a.. fren like him.. sometimes i just hate him and wonder y i ever liked him... yeah.. and i bet he feels the same way too.. those are just conflicts.. and certain things that just well. hard to change.. sometimes i feel that our relationship is really more than just lovey dovey stuff.. its really.. well.. sometimes we dun hav to say stuff.. we just understand each other.. and hm.. he understand me better than i do to him.. so yeah.. tt shows y my "brilliant plan" didnt work..

hm.. maybe on second thots.. i just few the above paragraph is bullshit.. yeah.. its bull.. so ignore.. i lazy delete..

i love him as a fren can? love him as much as i love ant!!

he was a little green and yellow mushroom today lor!! so fun!! he look so weird in jeans.. too skinny lar.. need to eat more man!! loL..

bought jon's pressie.. suddenly lazy to blog more le..

yay

2006-07-30T09:17:00.000+08:00

haha.. sometimes i wonder y i put blog fonts so small.. one simple reason, ppl hav a hard time reading, then they wun read, then wats the pt of a blog? i mean.. i wanna blog.. ppl non related is ok to read i guess.. but others.. well.. im not really too keen on it.. i know i'll piss ppl off maybe.. and haha. im still doing it..

lets tok bout fun stuff.. like ytd's flag day!! its soooooooo cool!! im serious..

first, i thot i'll die, i cant ask for a single donation and chili is always better than me somehow.. ahhh.. i feel so noob T.T

then it got better when we went to the junction at cine there!! then this ahmoh dude just dumped a whole bunch of coins on my tin as he passed by me after crossing the road! he didnt even stop to put them in or wateva lo!! its kinda funni cos its so sudden!! then we walked to the junction near paragon.. wow.. tts my paradise.. cos theres alot of families walkin out from the condos down the skinny road or sth.. then they have kids, so when asked for donation, they'll definitely show a good example, take out some coins, pass to their kids to donate to us!! so cool!!

then this group of tourists asked if we were from rjc, i told them we were from rgs, then one of them just took out a handful of coins!! and just keep on puttin all of them into my can!! at first i thot he'll just put like a few of them, but no!! he kept on puttin and puttin!! it was so funni!!

then they made chili take a pic of me with them.. cute tourists.. loL

ok.. chili get sian of a place veri easily.. and tts the main reason we didnt get much donation i guess.. cos we wun wait for the crowd and all.. and i realise the best place to ask for donation is a junction.. cos when ppl stone for the light to turn green, they dun really have an excuse of "need to rush off" and not donate any coins or wateva.. HA.. loL

this ahmoh guy rite.. i asked him to donate, he told me he got no change now and he said he'll be back(hes going paragon first).. so he asked: u all'll be around here?" so i immediately said: yes!!

well. like u expect.. chili got bored and wanted to leave.. but i was like: i hav faith in that guy!! he'll be back!! chili: well.. u know these ppl.. they only say that but they'll nv come back!!

well.. but chili was nice enough to wait with me.. and that person CAME BACK.. and guess how much he donated?? TEN BUCKS!! GOSH.. SOMEONE BRING ME WATER! and i didnt even realise it was that same person.. ah. i feel so loved somehow.. even though this got nth to do with this watsoevere loL

at nite was chattin with ant online.. wanted to find a definition for ant.. and concluded that hes well.. lovable sometimes? cos guys love to hug him.. hm.. im lovable too k.. cos he say im always happy whether im happy or not.. well, ppl.. u all better appreciate my braces more man..

love u ppl.. gonna mug with bird now.. alot of stuff to tok to her bout.. so happy

i love birds
i love ants

and ofcos .. i love myself... the most
o
and i love cow

i love life

2006-07-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

if anyone bothers to read this tini font.. ha ha ha..

well u should know i dun really wan ppl to read it, so yeah.. if u are one of "those ppl" namely everyone.. can dun read..

so y am i bloggin? not ask ppl not to read lar.. just fun.. sth like tt.. contradicting.. hm.. tts me

shall change to a o-so-me colour!! loL

hm.. shall blog bout these three days.. monday went trainin and all veri fun, then after that mug like siao..

tuesday also, mug mug mug, then go eat dinner with my mum

today also, after sch mug mug mug then go eat dinner with my mum..

im quite pissed actually.. been told that someone said i think piercson is hot.. hello, i dun even know how to spell his freakin name -.- ok.. sorri.. his name is not freakin.. just pissed-me.. yeah.. o well.. if i didnt say it.. so no need be pissed lor..

these days quite fun.. just tt now dun get to tok to bird tt much le.. quite sad.. i like bird alot.. yeah..

i guess now jason really gonna quite shootin le.. everett is rite.. i cant blame him.. and to be frank.. im not close to him.. so if he quit or not.. i might miss him.. but its just gonna cause nth more than a ripple in my emtionals and all those shit.. jingna is rite.. soemtimes frens are more of a hinderance than of help in shootin.. not sayin bradahood and all are doing more bad than good, just that, well, sometimes we shooters are so close cos of this distance beauty.. at first, when u just know th person, u see the flaws.. first layer..

then u know th person.. u see the second layer goodness

then u see the following layers of goodnes.. then wat? theres this layer of flaws.. then only when u go close to the person then u'll see.. and tts wat happens when u get too close to a person.. and i guess we are just too young sometimes to understand and overlook these flaws graciously.. but i am no god.. ha..

thats y relationships dun last long my dear.. whether its the rite guy or not.. chill lar.. so many years.. get tied down now sure got problem, comon, we even find hard to live properly with our parents now.. still think bout our future, living with some dude??? i think it should scare the hell out of ppl already.. if u think deep enough..

suddenly thot of jason.. really hope he can let go.. we are worried for him enough already.. haiz.. he ar.. haiz..

hm.. yeah.. apparently my genius plan on everett didnt work.. whether he really realised i was lyin from the start or just blaffin after i told him that i might not be tellin the truth.. hm.. o well.. i just feel quiet stupid lar.. at first tot my plan veri the smart.. now wah.. sad sad.. embarrassed.. i thot lying at this situation wouldbe like.. an exception.. but no.. yep

stress? u tell me??? tmr 6 blocks!!! still got math TEST.. then got wat, amc.. then got trainin sure till veri late one.. where got ppl like quli soshiok.. can stay at hom today cos she nv go sch.. dunno y though.. but o well...

i just realise im like screwin up my own life somehow.. slowly.. deep down.. so i must stop it now..

veri hot.. go bathe le..

sometimes i wonder..

2006-07-23T11:56:00.000+08:00

haiz.. sometimes i really wonder.. haiz.. i think i just landed myself into a bigger mess.. and others have to clean it up after me.. haiz..

sigh

hm...

2006-07-22T09:51:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder whose fault it really is: mine or his.. but i guess thats not the pt.. knowing whose fault it is wun make the whole matter any better or any worse... cos.. it sort of just have to end up being my fault anyway..

so maybe all e fault he ever did was to... cheat on me?? loL. i bet that wun stand as his fault cos well.. he'll just put it that he GAVE up on me already.. if he like tt.. then dun back and look for me..

ytd was battle of the bands.. ok.. well its nice lar..
well, acsb is .. good.. i wasnt really THAT high.. almost merely going with the flow.. chris told me nathan (or however u spell his name) is real good, he got contracts signed and stuff.. well, pro lor

acs international is like the one that i like.. cos they can actually sing.. true, i admit every single member in a band is impt, but i just feel the singer is the soul... if u cant sing.. no matter how good the rest of the band is.. its just not.. there..

acs i is good.. i like their song.. they wrote the songs..

the green uniform sch one.. ok lar.. not bad cos they got the wat u call it.. ta feng..

in the end.. well.. i didnt really have a band tt i liked alot.. i just liked the acsb's hats..

and SHAWN ang was performing!!! so exciting.. wx and me were tokin bout going to sit on the chair he sat on during the performance.. but well.. we didnt.. =)

bob aint exactly as fun as centrestage somehow.. maybe its cos i was freakin pissed with everett.. but i think thats my problem.. and well, i'll have to do sth about it.. and not any1's fault. yep

latr on on the bus.. me and ky was just like tokin bout some lame stuff.. being our usualy spastic self.. then somehow pissed everett off.. kena strangled by him real bad..but he didnt use his watch.. so i think the pain will only last for like.. 2-3 days.. so not so bad.. yeah

he was freakin pissed.. stretched his WHOLE LEG over the back seats.. ant gave up on him.. its sth that always bothers me.. dunno y.. and somehow... since i totally totally give up on everett... nv seemed happy anymore.. not sayin i so influencial.. just using it as a mark of dates.. yeah..

and im fastin for him to be alrite... which is well.. quite bad cos racial harmony food, i cant eat a single thing cos im fastin and i almost fainted.. can actually feel my head spinning so ran down to drink milo..

well.. fastin saves money too.. so i aint complainin

i really dunno how to help ppl.. and usually when tt happens ( its usually ppl like carol and ky or sth) at least i know how they are feelin.. i do somehow know how everett is feelin.. but its not helpin cos i also dunno wat to do.. u'll hav to get out of it urself.. and well.. the only solution is bringing everett to church.. and so, i'll fast for that.. =)

neeed to go for cpr course le.. haha.. at least today i wun get suaned so much.. dunno y they always suan me.. hmph.. IM FREAKING PISSED

WATS UR BLOODY PROBLEM..

loL.. jokin lar.. i shall stay happy.. i promised ant.. but he havnt treat me yet.. loL

signing off!! ALICE IN WONDERLAND

2006-07-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

haha.. nationals.. finally over..

actually.. i know how everyone feels.. but somehow.. i just dun share the same feelin.. abit stone now.

i need to get my priorities rite.. i just realised i've let myself into the mess that ant was tokin about.. shit.. how how how

haiz.. ytd was well.. fun.. but the unhappy stuff didnt go away cos of the happy stuff.. and it still haunts me.. yeah..

but it was fun.. i shall go find the pictures took ytd..
yup yup

life is sometimes findin the joy, not the flaws

2006-07-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

life is about finding the joy.. not the flaws...

i think that will be my phrase of the day.. well everyone has flaws.. maybe our flaws in on our back, so we hardly get to see them.. and when we do see the flaws, maybe like from a mirror, well.. we feel super super sad about it.. but the thing is, theres not much difference knowin and not knowing the flaws, cos it has been there all along.. and anyway, its good to find them cos then we'll be able to improve and all those shit.. yeah!!

i have my flaws.. i just dun wanna hear them.. so i guess the most impt thing i should change now is to like.. do not take wat ppl say tooooo seriously, too sensitive about other ppl's words and stuff... bird said im abit too sensitive.. haha.. and seein that i've already changed so much and still its like.. obvious..

k.. gtg eat.. latr blog about bird and stuff..

2006-07-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

LOVE JESUS

if ppl actually read my blog.. they'll realise the paragraphs are all different coloured!!

and dun u think the colours have a sort of tone to it? haha well.. thats just a senseless observation, and got nth to do with anything much watsoever

anyway, THURSDAY IS WEIXIAN'S BDAE !! hahah so happy nehx.. got her sth already.. but feel like makin her a card or sth.. since im like totally totally broke so yeah..

still havnt gone over the hyperness and ant's song!! so freakin nice??? like how nice?? tell me!! everyone say nice.. who cares if they say it just for the sake of makin me happy.. I THINK ITS FREAKIN NICE MAN.. HA ha ha ha ha ha..

ok ok.. alice chill

i feel like going to read my chinese book and stuff.. dun wanna blog le.. latr go nice stuff maybe i shall blog blog..

tata

GOD BLESS YEH ALL

2006-07-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

im just so happy somehow.. which i guess totally do not reflect the colour im using now for my words? haha.. wateva

o shit.. just realise tmr got research studies.. o dear.. haiz..

nvm

must still stay happy and all.. cos there God!! that create the COLORS!! HAHA.. SO cool woorr... haha..

yeah.. so theres colours!!!

ben really had a pt there ytd nite--he said, wat is faith when we only look into God when we actually need Him to create some sort of miracle or sth. its true, esp in my case i guess.. at first i always pray hard hard when i actually need His help.. but slowly and gradually, i begin to realise God's work in my life, not only through the difficult times, but also during happy times, i realise, without His grace, those beautiful things would nv have happened!! though im sorta retarded in realise these facts, i am still thankful for God's grace! =)

yup yup..
i decided to completely give up on huggies already, no prob wah.. and i really believe hes in good hands, just that he needs to change his blog link.. messiah or sth is really really WRONG.. haiz.. dunno wat hes thinkin woor..

im totally broke.. and i dunno wat to do... somemore need to pay for so many things.. haiz.. mum really gettin pissed i think.. somemore cleanin up my room for me cos its like freakin messy.. and we are plannin to sell our flat and buy a new one? yeah... the previous paragraph is of a diff colour. but it seems so .. simliar

suddenly reminded of canvas 2.. elis in the end end up with oniichan still.. its a happy ending i shall say, but i just think that.. well, it no longer hold any special meaning to me le.. see, now im not sad anymore.. SEE THE MIRACLE OF THE LORD? He can always make me happy no matter wat!! =)

now even tmr's rs dun seem to be bothering me.. i just know tmr will be fun fun fun somehow.. not to count the fastin time for God =) and to pray for ppl and Singapore!!

somehow at this pt of time, dun have any feelins for huggies anymore.. then i wonder y i still refer to him as huggies, well.. its a name.. and we shall keep it that way. ha ha ha

dun really ~~care~~ mind about it i guess.. i guess i keep holdin him back somehow.. well.. i dunno leh.. the love future for me rite now seem rather.. bleak? haha.. pathetic circle of frens and all.. but hey.. im not like despo or wateva.. i rather hav a million great frens that a bf.. haha.. like i wanna get into a relationship that fast too. nah.. i wun wan that... like ewww..

hahaha

really dun wan a bf now come to think of it.. haha... i wanna chat with di di lar..but he abit the not online now.. i really like takin the train with him lo.. then can laugh at him cos he has to hold onto sth on the bus.. muahahahahah

im not mean.. im nice.. ha

veri happy now..and tmr still have to pay derek like.. 40 bucks.. and ten bucks suppose to come from me.. so how how how u tell me how.. haiz..

ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS: GOD IS IN WORK IN OUR LIVES, ALL WE NEED TO DO IS BELIEVE

2006-07-10T16:44:00.000+08:00

just cleaned up my room!! woo!! really like.. phew.. took like one hour or so.. suppose to be studyin now.. but just suddenly feel like blogging i guess...

my di di is so wonderful.. he rock.. he wrote me a song!! and i really love the lyrics.. even if it dun really relate to me.. but i love it..

So Much More
Anthony Tan

Verse 1
I dont wanna run away, but every time I hear u say
U cant stop to bear the pain, and you’re driving me insane
Every time you cry out loud, a part of me is burning out
Could you ever lose your way, with me

Chorus
The world is going blind and
So put your hand in mine and see
Were meant to be
Id trade my life away for
This thing I need it so much more

Verse 2
Ever thought of giving up, of something we alone messed up
It would all be so easy, just an excuse not to die
How can we go so far, to only find out that were back
Shake the clouds and earth to breathe, and see

Bridge
Everything u thought wed be
Everyone will look and see
Finally so much for us to know

im so touched!! di di rocks.. haha.. its a really nice songs.. i love the lyrics!!

must thank God everyday for such a great di di.. i miss him lar.. last time everytime after church can go home tgt.. veri fun one.. but now.. bleh.. haiz.. nvm lar.. either i got sth on or he with his cell then i'll be freakin extra, so also dun wanna give him a hard time or sth.. haha

today is like pretty boring.. but rather interesting at the same time.. and of cos, i realise im slackin here when i should be doing the load of homework i have.. well.. i just feel i should blog.. trackin my feelins and all i guess..

i think i should devote more time to God.. nowaday, the most i spend is like 15 minutes.. its not that i dun hav the time, i just like to push things to the last minutes i guess and slack, with is my form of enjoyment, as much i can.. yeah.. this time should be devoted to the Lord!! to worship Him, praise Him and get closer to Him!! haha

been thinkin bout huggies these days.. i always want to make sure im not a despo little gal obssessed over ppl, but i guess its inevitable.. ha ha ha ha. i mean, think then think lar.. i just realise that.. well, no matter how assured i am that huggies has moved on and im ok with it, sort of when he really show affection towards another gal.. i'll still feel jealous lar.. hut o well.. like daniel say one.. its normal wah.. o and i always like to ask like im soooo wei da.. but sometimes its the only thing i can do heh

Really love JC, cant help it.. just someone that feels me with love and joy.. really happy that i have JC in my heart.. =)

THE BLOG THATS ALIVE AGAIN!! AMEN

2006-07-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

tell me about dead blogs.. haha..

decided to bring this blog to life again.. hmm.. dun feel like changin the blog skin though its already super super old.. i just like it i guess.. and maybe it also holds some memories? but o well

lets see.. am i sad now?
hm.. should not be.. cos i have all that i ever need: Lord

JC and the Truth.. the Love and Protection, that grants me peace!!

bradahood shirt is coming up.. pictures will be uploaded to e pictures section.. go and see.. its freakin cool haha

must thank wilson for it.. its really reall beautiful.. and of cos, got me inside, so its definitely hot and a must buy.. orders can be sent to bucklefan@hotmail.com

i do love this blog u know..

and i do love GOD for ur info..

wanna slp soon, dun wanna slp in class tmr wooo

love u LORD
love u JC
still love someone though..

o Lord, bless this humbled heart

amen

MY FIRST COMPETITION!!!

2006-02-25T12:51:00.000+08:00

my first competition!!! 24 feburary 2006!damn nice!!! haha

first.. got to sch damn early.. the bus was just nice on time.. haha.. then stone in school.. thinkin that its quite cool tt day.. no hmwk to chiong in the morning.. =)

just then.. i caught sight of si pei and ping fang, outside my class.. i was curious. but since pingfang is psl.. so i thot they came not to look for me.. then sipei called my name.. so i went out and tts when the fun started!! =)

sipei: hey, alice u wanna shoot ntu rite? hui ru is sick today.. and i use same gun as jia xi so i cant shoot and im not prepared!!! u wanna shoot?

do u hav any idea how much i wanted to shoot ntu?? and now.. THIS IS MY CHANCE muahahaha.. haha.. im so happy..

ran to find mrs tay to ask if its ok, she told us to look for mr teo, when went to look for him.. and he say can!!! yay!! but i still one more problem: i still need to look for miss cheryl to tell her i cant take my grammar test.. and u noe wat? God must be helping me!!! during morn assembly, miss cheryl went up to the gal in 303 (should be eng rep) and pass her sth.. just nice beside me!! so i told her i cant make it. i thot she would be unhappy and all!! but no!!! she said ok!! and told me to take the test on monday!! MISS CHERYL ROCKS.. haha

yah.. then went for math lesson.. didnt bother listening to much. just skim thru.. then eat abit!! then im on the mini bus to SAFRA for my first competition!! damn rock lar!!

got there.. the acsi shooters already there.. then me and kuoying quickly went to draw our guns.. then prepare everything.. and just rush rush rush.. keep askin everett to lend me his pellet box.. then he dun wan.. nvm lor.. then latr.. just as i went into the competition range, he ask me: u wan pellet box? i was like: ya ya!!! somehow.. this dude got nicer?? crazy.. then he lend me lar!! haha.. but i was so nervous tt i nv press the thingy down while tryin to make the pellets go in!! then keep wondering: how come cannot go in??? damn stupid of me lar!! haha.. hee

God must be really helping me.. but i thot i shot like damn sucky.. so as i finish.. i went back with a black face.. then start crying.. then everett say i pushin myself too much.. wayren dunno wat to do .. jon tryin to relax himself.. daoing me.. sandra nicest.. put arm round me.. im damn weird lar.. go into sayin tt im so tired tryin to be happy everyday.. loL then latr.. happy happy liao..

went to eat.. then rush back to wish the acsi ppl good luck.. shake everett's hand: shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake, then go into arm wrestling!! haha.. wayren was like: hurry up lar! my turn!! i won everett!! then shake wayren's hand.. shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake.. haha.. then jon!! shake shake shake!! then he was like: wrist lock!! haha then i rushed out to eat le..

then latr my results came out: i came in second in my detail.. but the other gal is diff division as me.. so nvm.. so mean i got chance of gettin gold lor.. i was quite shocked.. yah

then.. haiz. hungry.. type latr..

life is interesting

2006-01-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

i used to say life sucks and all.. then krist used to tell me its how i perceive life and all. it sounds bullshit and all, but its actually true.. as in.. its how u perceive it.. yah.. if u think it suck, then it suck. i choose to think everything tt we think is not gd for us has a reason for us.

i forgot who told me this, i think its yuanhe, he said to me: when God close a door, He'll always open a new window for us. yes!!! i'll stick to tt. so no matter what happens, God has the best for me!

yah.. so no matter what happens, i'll not be sad.. i just wanna get closer to God.. haiz.. yah.. dunno if i can go church and all..

God is really good to me. after i prayed for forgiveness for my sins, i mean.. my life could have been much worse! ppl daoing me.. ppl hating me.. not gettin into shootin.. stress in sch and like.. horrible obs and all.. but everything turned out just fine, just ok, i got into shootin easily.. life is ok for me.. not so stressed.. i still get fun.. still can train.. still can kope.. still have my frens round me.. still survived obs and all..

THANK YOU GOD. i hope i can find more ways to glorify YOU!

yes!!!

everyone is maturing at a shocking rate.. for once u see ppl like daniel lau and everett koh doing hmwk at safra!

im just so useless.. cant even help a single person round me.. haiz..

no mood to blog liao.

blog latr..

alice rocks
i love stuff

sch is ok lar.. bleh

2006-01-03T16:54:00.000+08:00

yah.. wun die lor yah.. like tt lor..

reach sch.. hyper hyper hyper lor.. see all those ppl become psl, abit funni lar =) yay yay yay...

haha.. then like..amphi lor.. then go listen to cca tok.. VERI INTERESTIN AND INSPIRING.. haha.. then recess and all.. finally went back to class..

nina chun is not bad.. haha gv veri cute.. loL

tammi veri cute

shi hui veri cute

eli veri cute

gladys veri cute

zp veri cute

i cute or not?? haha

I AINT ACT CUTE LIKE SOME STUPID PPL HAHA..MUAHAHA

lonely christmas.. wateva

2005-12-25T09:55:00.000+08:00

haiz.. rather down now.. christmas practically suck lar.. as in.. nth to do, everyone daoin u (cos apparently they are having fun) yup.. haiz.. pretty confusing and all. i dunno wat im doing. i want to stretch out and help others, and really make others feel better, esp when i am really able to make them feel better.. not just drownin them in some stupid rationale tt everyone know, but nv able to understand when they are depressed.. and actually can make ppl feel better.. i mean.. its like.. i feel so happy.. like God in guiding me thru all these, teachin me how to help us.. and makin me learn and be stronger as well. but now.. i aint so sure anymore. half the time i dunno what im doing. im serious! suddenly it just dawned on me: what am i doing??? haiz..

i guess what they said it rite.. just shoot well, study well, dun care bout other stuff. but is it possible? i'll just try my best. the only thing thats spurtin me on is actually pistol. but the irony? im not even in the CCA, let the sch team??? others are way better than me.. and its like... am i able to catch up?? hav u ever seen someone who started latr but trashed the others? and wat percentage is hardwork? if hard work is the 100% guarentee to improvin, then i'll TRAIN EVERYDAY. i mean EVERYDAY.

but wats the pt? no one to share with. no one. i keep forgettin God. like, only rmb Him when i need Him and all.. i feel abit guilty.. and i cant feel God anymore.. i cant feel Him... haiz.. i need huggies.. but.. haiz.. i noe he aint there.. i mean he is there.. but.. haiz.. i dunno.. dunno anymore..

damn sad now.. lonely christmas.. nth to do.. no pressie also.. :'( haiz.. wateva.. wat can i do???? fuck.. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..

Christmas wishes!!! lets me materialistic!! =)

2005-12-09T08:21:00.000+08:00

wishes, material stuff

log bag/sling bag/tote bag(a new bag for a change mah..)
new shoes (hey, u cant wear a pair of shoes for too long! it'll harm ur feet!)
new comp (now my comp damn cranky leh.. i wan desktop replacement..)
new sch bag (new bags tend to inspire ppl to be more enthu bout sch)
nano pouch
earphone cover (tt green one too baobei liao.. dun bear to use le)
quiksilver/billabong/ripcurl ring file (to chill my wksheets..loL)
10 box of pellets + 100 targets (ensure tt i dun hav to spend excess money on pistol, hey, e shootin ppl can kop pellets for free leh!!!)
new water bottle/pink nike water bottle (i lose my pink billabong one!!)
contacts (not to look nice, but to control my f**kin degree)
SHOOTIN SPECS

non-materlistic stuff

improve in guitar
improve in shootin
hardworkin
enthu bucklean
make more fren, be nice to everyone, strive to be a person whom others can turn to when they hav problems
love more
try to hav better communication with parents
try not to always depend on my other financial source (my dad)
read more
be nice to juniors
be kind to seniors
wear name tag
dun get booked
do well in hssrp
dun slack
be happy
love more
hope to be loved more

hee bleh

2005-11-22T20:22:00.000+08:00

like wtf.. now my mum is scoldin me for not doing productive stuff in the HOLIDAYS!! PLS! LIKE SHE SAID, ITS E HOLIDAYS!! Y AM I SUPPOSE TO DO PRODUCTIVE STUFF: IN HER EYES, STUDY.. IN E HOLIDAYS??

nvm lar.. i noe shes just worried for me.. haiz.. cos my results didnt increase, but dropped.. bleh.. haiz.. wat can i do man? i just wanna enjoy myself. bleh bleh..haha

wen to bowl today.. quite fun! jon, from e last, became e second! damn zai.. i would hav done better if not for daniel lar! bowl for me, kena gutter! damn nice lor! haiz.. nvm lar.. had fun! haha.. then waited for krist for like half an hour!! first, she waited at e wrong bus stop.. then she took e wrong bus, then finaly took e correct bus and came here!

hm..

2005-11-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

interesting--life, ain't it? i keep thinkin bout life. i dunno if its just me or its just.. well, ME..

life's pretty confusing sometimes. kris always tells me tt its how i view life, not how life has screwed me. i used to think its impossible to make oneself happy again, when he or she is so depressed and down.. which is wat i am thinkin now.
but i realise tt u can make urself happy, u can! yes u can! if u are sad, go out with frens.. try to hav fun, u'll realise sure enough tt u can be happy if u wan to!
dun be like me: cope up at home, doing nth.. just mournin over my pitiful life.. and stuff. now u noe wat, whenever i say i wan to die, i'll think bout the bright stuff in life, i'll realise tt it'll be hard to let them go. and im quite scared to die anyway. its gonna be painful.. ah.. not tt i cant take pain, but.. well.. too much pain--who wants them? anyway, its a sin, i might not go heaven, im giving up my right to life and right to live.. tts so..bleh

so y are we in this world? takin our own bindings (wateva tt means), repay kindness, mend our own wrongs, tryin our best not to mend into other ppl's business, but in e end, we are always entangled with other ppl--COMPLICATED MAN.. y? are we always tryin to do sth we arent suppose to do? get untangled with others??

to be continued....

你不在

2005-11-11T07:57:00.000+08:00

我又去看星星
天上没有云，
可是只有一颗星，
好孤独，好寂寞。

好冷
好冷
好冷

好冷喔，
双手抱住自己，
好孤单，
好孤独，好寂寞。

没有他为我取暖，
没有他，
抱住我，让我暖暖的，告诉我：everything will be alrite
一点也不寂寞，一点也不孤单。

那时原来，
现在的我
好冷
好冷

身边只有一和你喜欢的草莓蛋糕
没有你的微笑
没有你的沉默
好孤单，好寂寞。

脸上湿了，
我哭了

可是，
不痛
不痛
不痛。

你离开的那天，我不会痛，我会哭，
孤单的夜里我不孤单，因为我爱你。

haha.. recaps!

2005-11-10T10:51:00.000+08:00

loL.. feel like recapping bout e 3 days of holiday so far.. quite fun bleh..

MONDAY
wen to guitar.. borin.. guitar assessment.. screwed it cos my freakin phone was vibrating when i was sight reading!!! fuck lar.. and i freaked out like shit.. scaredd tt mr chua will hear it and scold me somemore. kao beh!

after assessment, immediately rush to TTSH. go for heart checkup.. but guess wat? i dun hav a referrial letter or sth, so i'll hav to pay for e full private hospital price, not e subsidised one.. wah lao lor! if its just like.. bout 20 30 bucks difference, its ok, but its not! its 140 bucks diff!!! wtf lar.. haiz.. so.. i was damn pissed.. and e stupid nurse there is damn irritatin lar..

we wen to novena sq to eat, then went back to yishun poyclinic to get a referial letter. e whole stupid thing took me 2 hours.. got back home.. slacked round bout.. eat dinner then gtg liao. then got to sch and realise we were suppose to meet at 7.45, not 6 pm!! wtf lar.. i hav like almost 2 hours of free time! i got my new result slip.. then sit round e table with zp they all to tok and play lor.. damn lame lar.. quite fun though..=)

drama nite damn boring.. haha.. ok skip skip.

I GOT HOME AT 11 PLUS!!

TUESDAY
erm.. wen for guitar.. calculated tt if i just go one hour latr.. i would be only late by half an hour.. and i wun miss anything! haha.. so i left home at round .40.. guitar suppose to start at 9.. hee

mr chua gave us this super hard song! wah lao.. play until wan to die le! then decided to pon afternoon.. so just left with my guitar at lunch! called jon to ask where they were.. cos heard tt they were somewhere in yishun.. can pei me eat lunch.. haha. guess they wanna skip it or sth, dunno, anyway.. eli nice enough to pei me lor.. then i wen home... heard tt jj's eye was swellin.. so asked them if they wanna go and visit her.. so we all planned to MEET AT FOUR PM. jon, everett and eli was one hour late.. me and mich got eaten by the mozzies!

got on 854.. and we SAT down in e middle section of the long long bus! jon, everett and me somehow got black marks on our backs cos of tt! bleh.. so unlucky.. then got to jj house! then we play piano, guitar, eat biscuts and stuff.. =)

everett lar, put e box of biscuits on e high high stairs.. and i didnt noe it wasnt covered, so when i took it.. well.. it was rainin biscuits. sorri jj!

i found sth veri fun! infrared! fishes see by tt! so if u rub ur hands till hot and put then on e fish tank, the fishes will move away from u! so fun rite! =) haha.. sorri mei jun.. she say i scarin e fishes..

then jj's mum bought dinner for us.. mich and i were sharin one box of hor fun.. everett eatin one whole box.. he finish everything, then we hard eaten.. so when he go toilet.. we swap boxes!! so it seem like he ate veri little, we ate alot! smart rite?? haha.. muahahahaha..

then played badminton.. then wen home.. my mum got pissed got i nv phone her.. SHE SET ME A CURFEW!! BY 8, BEST IS COME back.. but cant just call..haha

eli gave me e apple crumble meant for her maid: maris aka jon.. haiz.. feel so guilty now. how? jon not happy cos of it!

WEDNESDAY
hm.. wen to play lan with eli they all at noon.. then wen to see them train for while, then wen to cut hair.. wah.. damn tt one.. waited for veri long! but cut until quite nice leh! 12 bucks: quite nice leh! haha.. happy happy!then wen to borrow umbrella cos it was rainin.. then wen back to safra, cos i forgot to return eli her tupperware. the umbrella we borrowed was like.. grannie umbrella.. haha.. damn malu..

they said they playin lan.. so we waited for them to pack and stuff.. haha.. then decided not to play lan.. cos not enough comps also.. we wen back to return umbrella.. then i sent mich back..

我爱的人

2005-11-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

我跟他看星星
“你看，星星那么亮！”我兴奋的叫着
那声音那么明亮，就好象星星一样。
安静
安静
安静
我转过身，他就在我身边，微笑着。
“为什么不出声？”
“没什么，安静的看你比较美。”
“别开玩笑了，你帅我就认了--我哪一点漂亮了？”
可是看着他严肃的脸，我知道，那时他真心的话，不是骗人的。
“谢谢你。”
“谢什么，我也像跟你看星星。再加上。。。”

在他唇上那一吻，好美好美，比星星还要美。

美丽的东西都是段站的，我们只能好好的珍稀它，努力的让它延续下去，用你的心去希望它会是永远的永远...

life

2005-11-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Press Ctrl + A
i realise life is like.. dunno.. its like an abstract art piece, u can choose to look at it one way, and u see it beautiful and vibrant. u can also choose to look at it at another way, ugly and just cant make sense of it... we choose how we wana look at it.. yes, our first initial reaction to the piece might not be e positive side.. but.. imagine-- u hav to stare at tt paintin for e rest of ur life.. might as well look at e nice nice side rite? wat for go and torture urself.. heh? look at e cute cute nice nice side.. enjoy it for e rest of ur life..

once in a while.. the painting changes shape.. and all u see is e ugly side.. dun freak! just be patient and calm and look for tt nice side... dun give up.. dun ever give up.. dun..

i dunno.. as in.. just like my fren said.. if u cant get a person to like u.. tt person is just not gd enough for u.. hm.. i gues.. dunno lar.. damn confused.. wanna say alot of stuff.. but dunn wat to say now..

tata

love

2005-11-06T19:03:00.000+08:00

haiz.. life really sucky.. i dunno.. im possessive.. possessive idiot.. stay at home think bout pessimistic stuff.. go out mum scold.. need go buy strapless bra.. y am i typin this.. gettin sick.. never horny.. im clearn.. pure.. yup.. i wan cut hair.

screwed

2005-11-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

im screwed.. period.. nth else to say le.. just screwed.. i dunno.. sometimes, when i say im screwed.. its just my thinkin, as in.. the person i thot tt screwed me didnt even mean it.. or it was obvious it wun last long.. but.. well.. i dunno bout this time..

i love to quote it phrase.. i dunno anymore, i dunno bout anything anymore.. how nice.. i seriously dunno le. except a few things: my love, my dear huggies.. and pistol.. tts bout all..

i realise ppl are always veri fake on e outside.. they seem happy, they seem so good.. but in e end.. when their masks are taken off, u see e real, raw, dark side of them.. it aint good.. i dunno y ppl wanna put a face there to block out all e unsightly scars.. maybe just cos its unsightly..

some ppl dun accept others, dunno wat is their fucking problem, being so pissed for no particular reason, etc, i realised tt everything everyone do has a reason, u are not e only one with a complex and well thot brain.. they think too, dun look at others as if they are ppl who dunno wat they are doin and dun really care if their pissed moods pisses other ppl off.. and speakin rite behind their backs.. imagine if u encountered sth veri unhappy, and ur mask can no longer block ur dark side.. it took over u and u cant control ur wrath anymore.. and ppl dun even try and see y u are pissed and just say tt u are pissed for no particular reason, like a idiot without brains and start tokin behind ur back.. how would u feel?? im sure it aint nice..

being a person aint easy.. u'll hav to keep in mind alot of things.. some ppl say: be urself, whether ppl like it or not.. they dun care.. ppl will just hav to accept them as they are.. maybe its true.. but i once heard.. if ppl dun accept u, then its u who has a problem.. and u should change.. maybe no to be just accepted.. but to becopme a more wholistic person.. i dunno.. so nx time ur fren gets pissed.. try to understand her.. maybe scold abit with her too.. she'll be glad.. well, i'll be if i were she.. =)

screwed

2005-10-20T15:40:00.000+08:00

ok.. my life is officially screwed.. and it got nth to do with exams.. how nice.. my life is screwed.. my life is screwed.. my life is screwed...

dun be surprised if i die tmr lar.. i mean.. ok.. i thot bout it.. hanging urself is rather disgusting, as u actually break ur spinal cord and die.. wat if i aint heavy enough.. and wats more.. theres no beam in my house, so its kinda hard..

yah.. slpin pills.. wat does it do to u anyway? i dunno lar.. maybe make u slp till u die? yeh.. but tt would be hard too..

so jumpin down e building would be nice.. and i'll use my fear of hts to kill me.. not bad.. but.. just dunno if i hav e courage to go up there.. yep.. there are gd things in life.. but if i lose some stuff.. i dun feel like living anymore.. haiz.. not yet.. but maybe.. im scared.. veri scared...

exams

2005-10-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

EXAMS!!! nono.. i shall say, EOYs are here!! haha.. thot i would freak out.. in e end damn slack.. van, crys and jj even go orchard eat eat.. haha.. i never.. i guai guai go home and study de.. =) really.. dun believe dun believe lor.. i also cannot do anything.. haha

was slackin thru lar.. wen to eat instant noodles--damn nice.. its tt kinda korean noodles.. nice leh! =) haha.. but damn hot.. bad for pimples its like.. im sorta killing my beautiful throat lor.. one spoonful of soup, one gulp of root beer-- damn gasy.. haiz.. destroying my throat.. and maybe stomach too! omg! wat if i get stomach cancer??? loL.. big deal.. its sth i have been dreamin for since like dunno when..

haha.. eng today not bad lar.. wun fail de.. k lar.. listen to some songs.. and russell peters.. upload to ipod.. then maybe look at chinese then slp le! =)

yay.. alice rocks.. dun wori.. she's just acting gay.. shes not gay.. she's damn straight..=)

love
alice

theveronicas

2005-10-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

Here we are so what you gonna do
Do I gotta spell it out for you
I can see that you got other plans for tonight
But I don’t really care
Size me up you know
I beat the best Tick tock on time to rest
Let them say what their gonna say
But tonight I just don’t really care
Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Ive seen it all I’ve got nothing to prove
Come on baby just make your move
Follow me lets leave it all behind tonight
Like me just don’t care
Let me take you on the ride of your life
That’s what I said alright
They can say what they wanna say cuz tonight
I just don’t even care
Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Lets pretend your mine
We could just pretend,
we could just pretend, yeah yeah
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you’ll want more
So tell me what your waiting for
Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you

Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Come on baby we aint gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know I wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever

life rocks/sucks

2005-10-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

today had to clear out lockers and stuff.. haiz.. should be studying now, but.. dun really feel like it.. and im slpy le lor

haiz. how?? loL.. today quite fun lar.. i dunno bout jj and mich.. but whenever im with jon, everett tt gang of ppl.. im most relaxed.. i can be myself.. without caring bout what ppl think of me.. its also like tt with van they all but.. i think with them.. more relaxed.. dunno y.. maybe its cos i noe i'll nv get to know them better, so can crap all i want.. and jj and mich also there mah.. so fun lor.. haha

dunno y.. acting so gay these days.. even jon and everett can stand it le.. then its like.. whole table of ppl tryin not to be sicked out by me.. haiz..

kao lor.. asked jon and everett to tuition us chem.. i end up teaching jj and mich.. kao lor.. then jon was there reading my nice nice colorful notes. loL.. so ironical.. they were joking tt i can end up teaching them.. loL

i suddenly complained tt jon nv get me pressie.. haha.. then they left to buy sth.. i thot they wanted buy food.. then latr nv buy.. and they went out.. hm.. dunno where they go..

haha.. they came back with one pressie!! so nice of them..loL.. this leather strap necklace thingy.. in a PINK box... y not green.. quite nice lar.. its in e shape of 4 leave clover.. and my name engraved on it.. haha.. like it quite abit.. bleh.. XD

then went to eat dinner.. was trying to steal jj's soup.. cos she got shore throat.. haha.. she end up drinkin it anyway.. then wen back le.. haha.. it made me quite.. cheered up.. ready for e revision! X)

man.. poems by mr lee again!!

2005-10-10T19:37:00.000+08:00

She's holding my hand, under the bedsheets.
My heart beats a little faster.
She doesn't know I'm awake.

She's singing softly, under her breath.
Dream about the days to come.
When I won't have to leave alone.
About the times that I won't... have to say.
She doesn't know I'm listening.

Hanging onto her every word.

She's looking up and smiling at me,
With beautiful eyes of blue.
She doesn't know I'm watching,
With eyes half-open.

Captivated in her smile.

She lays her head on my chest.
Back to sleep.
She doesn't know I'm smiling back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

salmon delight!!! i dunno y i like salmon.. it dun really have much of a taste.. raw.. and like.. i dunno lar.. just like it quite abit.. haha.. ate 2 dinners.. wen to eat out with my dad.. then wen back to eat my step dad's cooking.. ate delifrance leh!! smoked salmon thingy.. then wen back and eat salmon again.. today wasabi damn alot.. gettin hot!! loL

wen to j8 (again!) today.. took neos.. SUPER NICE!! OK JUST noe tt color suck.. change to orange.. nicer..=) haha.. super nice neos.. damn happy lar.. nx time must go there and take..=) then wen macs.. wanna take pic with mr MacDonald.. but.. well.. nvm lar.. change our mind and stuff...

then wen to take train with van.. she meeting hoho mah. then this guy--zerome was on e train.. then hoho was smsin him.. sayin tt he is ME.. and somemore say like.. wat.. jon veri shuai.. nice butt! omg! wtf lar.. like he look tt nice meh.. and i wun say tt to any stranger wah!!..

nvm lar.. now ok le mah.. no big deal.. haiz.. see lar.. all jon's fault.. now no mood le..

crazy thurs!!

2005-10-06T19:01:00.000+08:00

haha.. today was damn fun lar.. dunno y.. after i completely forget bout e thrio liao rite, i feel happier.. much much happier.. like can really tok bout anything lar.. dun hav to like.. keep in mind tt others might be pissed, etc.. =)

ok, first was history.. nth much.. haha.. was telling van to get jon to help me buy e super sick hp chain.. then i was talking bout him sayin tt i can just tag along.. then i told him to go spent quality time with van along.. then he say someone coming with her anyway.. loL.. then van said tt tt person coming along with her was SUPPOSE TO BE ME..loL anyway, i cant go wah.. i got sth on mah...

then was math.. quite ok lar.. did a quiz.. damn tt one.. one qn suppose to be correct.. just cos i never add some stupid stuff.. haiz.. mose be more careful liao..

then was pe, not bad.. quite fun lar.. just dribble e ball here and there.. fun mah..=) then latr help van and crys keep equiptment again...then van sat in e basket again.. loL.. then we carry carry carry.. cos all no strength liao.. so though van so light, also cant carry le.. then we were jokin tt all e ppl in J block are probably lookin at us.. then mrs anis appeared on e second floor window and said sth like: enjoy ur time! good creativity! loL

haha.. damn funni lar.. then wen recess.. and wen back class to change... then rmb tt nancy hav a sorta crush person in ri, used e sacred book of RI and looked for him.. couldnt believe tt i found it!! so damn lucky!!!

then jj told me tt, when she returned home late on tues, her mum ask her y, then she said i give her math tuition.. then she veri touched!!! so happy!!! haha.. maybe it didnt mean much to her and her mum.. but it meant alot to me!! =) yay.. at least someone thing im helpful heh?? loL maybe i should start holding tuition lessons, then earn money also!! loL.. jk lar.. i dun charge one.. just get me a nice bdae pressie..=) haha..

then it was chinese.. nth much.. just forgot to take my newspaper from under my table.. so not updated newspaper already.. but still wanna read popcorn.. hee..

sci was just plain boring lar.. vaNn and jj and crys invented this new thing-- full valence shell!

haha.. shall not say wat it stand for.. =)

then wen home with yixin lor.. then do hmwk and stuff.. pretty much norm. dunno y so hyper today..

yay ..tmr fri liao..=) haha.. go my other blog! im uploading some new jokes!!!

2005-10-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

haha.. today damn fun lar.. haha..

we j8 again.. with van lar.. then met jon outside neoprint machine there.. haha.. then like nvm lor, dun take neo le.. so just walked around, wen to cd shop and forgot what happened.. and just started laughin.. loL

jon is super sacarstic ok, damn not shuang now.. everything i say also must make it sacarstic one lor! dunno y he so mean to others while so nice to other ppl like our dear van.. BUT YAH.. COS HIS GF MAH..LOL kao lor. he damn sacarstic one lor!! more sacarstic than everett koh.. haiz... but slower.. told him i get down at yishun and take bus to admiralty.. and HE BELIEVED..loL

then i think this guy called yanliang called him.. then he fake indian accent.. quite real mah.. then make until van laugh like siao.. haiz.. crazy couple..

then wen to see ipod and stuff.. then wen down escalator and saw yan's bro in macs with his frens.. i looked at him.. then his frens were like staring at us--haha.. surely cos van damn famous or jon to er conspicuous..loL

omg!! im so damn downgrading myself! must stop interacting with ri ppl.. im getting less biased!! THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!!

haha..

oh yah!! must say!! in mini toons hor, got this handphone chain is in e shape of BREASTS!! YES! ONE BREAST ONLY LAR.. (dun be disappointed, u can always buy 2 to make a pair) haha.. was tryin to sick jonathan out.. so showed him in j8.. loL van was too er sicked out to even go in lar.. haha.. after jon see.. he was like..loL wateva.. dun really care.. i just wanna let all ppl noe bout it..=)

haha.. finally RS over, no more interaction with zp and yiyue and yx in sch.. its pretty awkward lar.. since tt now i wanna change le.. dun really wanna say anything... well, cant say its my fault rite.. i didnt really do anything tt is really wrong.. well... haiz.. wateva.. not blamin them either...

k great sci challenge is up.. must go watch!!! =)

2005-09-29T16:42:00.000+08:00

Dear Ah Beng,
I currently have a boyfriend, who is good and kind to me, and we always have a pleasant time together. But recently, an old flame came back into my life. He is wild, irresponsible, and for some reason, I find him incredibly sexy. I am so tempted to have a fling with him, but am afraid of hurting my boyfriend. What can I do?
Torn Between Two Lovers

Dear Torn Between Two Lovers, To have to choose between two suitors is always a porblem. Choose one, and you will always wonder about what might have happened with the other. So I suggest you use 'lateral thinking'. I think so you have two choices. One: have a threesome with both of them. Two: get rid of both of them, and go out with a third party. If you choose option One, tell me, so I can come and watch. If you choose option Two, my brothers at the Chap Sar Tiam secret society got special offer this week on hooting. They can come and hoot your two friends upside down, and then you can pak tor with me. But only if you're a chio bu.
Ah Beng

cont'd

2005-09-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

haha.. ok.. where was i? hm.. in e play ground! yes! then eli revceived this call from e taxi driver-- turned out tt she left her wallet in e taxi.. and didnt noe lor! then kok was sayin.. on e taxi, eli they all were tokin bout white hair, then eli didnt realise tt e taxi driver was full of white hair.. somemore when kok tried to save e situation by sayin: white hair is e sign of wisdom--eli laughed it off..

then she feel damn bad lar.. damn guilty i think... haha.. jj was like a free portable radio.. keep on singing.. so we were like crappin crapping... haha.. then sent yuwen and gv.. they gtg le.. came back and found tt ed left also.. his mum chase him to go home and eat dinner...

then wen back lor.. crapped somemore i think.. then wen down to eat.. end up eatin some honeydew sago thingy.. quite nice.. =) haha.. nick was bullyin eli! keep stealin her wallet.. then eli go and pinch him.. *ouch* haha.. poor him heh? loL

then later we went back.. and crapped around somemore.. then wen home le...

haiz.. dun even wanna tok bout it.. said bye bye to derek at 8. 40.. got onto taxi at 9.40.. crap.. kao beh..

haha.. get well soon derek!

2005-09-24T12:26:00.000+08:00

haha.. ytd super fun leh.. must recap whole thing!!

14 30: eat lunch with jj.. yoshi!!! haha.. damn yummie lor! esp when u never eat proper food since last lunch! haha..

15 00: eat finish le, then call everett.. ask him if he going to see derek.. everyone go all fun fun mah.. haha, then he say he dun wanna go... dun feel like going.. going safra to train... hm.. funni.. cos he was e one whole made me wanna go see derek in e first place.. so i keep tryin to persuade him to go (he better thank me lor, he practically laughed more than me lor)

then everett called me, say he going.. so he wen bishan, where jj and i was.. =)

16 00: stillin buyin the pressie for derek.. tt everett koh keep callin and rushin us.. in e end, bought a huge plastic board and paint marker to doodle on it and a singing flower!!! =) so cute lor!!! and rush rush rush rush rush rush.. ready to get scolded by our dear MR PISSED... hee.. sry lar..

ok.. lost track of time...

met everett, he still ok.. like expression ok, abit bemused, quite glad.. i hate pissin ppl off.. see i so nice lor

then we got onto e train, wat else, then tried to doodle on e plastic board.. at first, we wanted to get him a black board, cool mah.. but scared superstition.. black unlucky mah.. so got er.. green! hehe.. he in thoburn anyway mah.. so im sure he wun mind lar.. loL

everett took one look at e board, confirm i choose de.. fine lor!!! i thot only e rg gals noe tt i like green.. loL haha.. i wrote e nice nice nice GET WELL SOON haha.. see i so nice!!!

got to bounavista.. aiyah.. dunno how to spell lar.. anyway.. then took a bus.. 95-- take not.. 95 to NUH is a loop bus, must must must must must rmb... i took.. and forgot... haha..anyway, got there and wrote a nice ncie poem on it...

roses are red,
violets are blue,
monkeys like u
should be kept in e zoo.

dun be angry,
cos i'll be there too.
not in e cage,
but laughin at U!!

aint it sweet? see im so nice to derek.. i hope xian dun get jealous.. haha..

got there.. just nice the rest of them were there in e kopitiam.. haha.. jj and me pulled e gals to write stuff on e board.. then everyone wrote: (i love u!-xian) haha.. xian might be pissed leh..
wah.. gv damn zai leh.. anyhow draw draw also veri nice.. so zai lor!! haha.. then drew stick figure of derek with a broken arm and sayin: i love xian! loL poor xian.. marcus got competition leh!! ah.. so fun!!!

then gave e board plus e singing flower to derek.. he seem quite ok.. rather happy lar =) haha.. then yuwen and gv i think.. put their name tags on his sling.. so fun!

then wen back to derek's ward.. then kok wanna play in e playground.. so e 206 ppl wen there.. but i got low bp.. so tell jj pei me.. then eli's phone rang, so no choice have to run to e playground to pass to eli.. it turned out tt xian called her.. and xian sad cos she failed some sort of guides test... damn sad lor.. then kok was tokin to here... but in e end, it turned out tt she never fail--she passed! only to trick them! haha.. make until kok so worried leh.. haha..

we were playin on e see saw.. then me and gv stand in e middle.. damn fun.. and they swing damn hard.. then yuwen was screamin.. poor her...

then e guys also come out le.. so just crap crap crap.. play play play..

ok.. to be continued... =)

i hate u

2005-09-15T19:44:00.000+08:00

i dunno y u hav to do this to me.. i mean.. i noe its not ur fault but.. i dunno.. maybe im just over sensitive...

im depressed.. and u are like so super heck care.. when u were depressed.. i was like so freakin worried.. keep askin u if u were ok or not... wahlau.. should not even hav bothered bout u.. u die i also dun care rite.. fine.. now i also dun care lor.. wtf

lala

2005-09-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

My heart died a lonely death,
The day Sarah left for the stars.

I told her I loved her.
She told me Love was a waste of time.
And better things awaited her,
Up in the stars.
Up in the stars.
So my heart was broken.
The day Sarah left for the stars.

I asked her not to leave, to stay with me.
I told her I couldn't live without her.
She smiled and told me I was a fool.
Packed her bags, and left.
So it all ended.It all ended.
The day Sarah left for the stars.

I miss your touch,
And the soft feel of your lips,
Like the kiss you gave me right before you left me.
Right before you left me.
On the day you left for the stars.

So I'm still here.
Foolishly waiting.
Still clinging on to that foolish emotion called Love.
Still foolishly clinging on.
And it's been so long,
Since the day you left for the stars.

My heart died and left for the stars.
On that day.
On that fateful, fateful day.T
he day Sarah left for the stars.

omg.. it rocks.. haiz.. jy bu shi ren de.. how can he write something so nice??? haiz.. kao beh

im super stressed lar.. i tell u.. today must finish geo.. then if got time then do bita rs.. if no time then dun do.. then tmr do.. ah.. i never even look at lite lor! ahhh!!!!

i love me

2005-09-07T13:36:00.000+08:00

i dunno lar.. suddenly im thankful for life.. for all the things it had give me--pretty not bad so far.. lettin me meet all those great ppl and stuff.. and well.. at least letting me try the things tt i thot to be greener yeh.. =)

im really really thankful for letting me try all these...

well, im sorri tt i ruined my life in my own hands, well, at least i tried.. sort of anyway...

bye....

im so... rowk!

2005-09-03T09:35:00.000+08:00

hhaa... im so hurt.. still being influenced by jy's msg.. haha.. shall crap somemore

and maybe.. if you really leave me, well.. i dunno.. would it too foolish to just end my life like tt.. i dunno
maybe .. just maybe.. i should go first heh?

ok.. haha.. done not bad for math.. quite happy now..

haha.. =)

2005-09-02T11:41:00.000+08:00

just finish geo test and stuff.. haiz.. freaking stressed lar.. wat to do? nth..wtf haiz.. wth.. i didnt noe tt i said im stressed!! am i stressed?? i dunno leh.. haiz.. miss lim say i now veri skinny.. askin me if its cos i too stressed.. no wah.. where got skinny.. dun hav wah.. am i stressed? i dunno..

haiz.. wat if i wake up one day and just realise tt the person closest to you just.. disappeared just like tt? i dunno.. i dun wanna think how it would feel.. but sometimes i wish tt would happen.. cos it would give me a reason to die! wun it be nice.. loL

ok.. now kris keep sayin tt i keep blogging bout HIM haiz.. who is e him??? blog also got prob one meh?? haha.. k lar.. go and surf net again..boo

2005-08-29T18:05:00.000+08:00

But what if I wake up, throw off the bedsheets, and you're not next to me?
Will we find each other?
Or will we search forever, for a person we've touched only in dreams?
Can I hold you now?

aiyah.. jingyan.. be nice lar.. dun copyright protect ur stuff leh.. haha..

aint it nice? touch only in dreams.. haiz.. everything is a dream, nothing is a dream..

if this is really a dream, i wish i would never wake up from this dream--though this dream has occasionally nightmares, occasional black holes and stuff.. but there will always be e soft fluffy pillows and hugs, warmth from e blanket, you there by my side.. holding me close..

just an expression ...Boo

i rawk

2005-08-25T19:41:00.000+08:00

yep.. headache all gone!! GONE!!! GONE!! yay.. so freakin happy now.. also dunno y..

o must must talk bout this! the thinking hats! this exrg pro gal came back.. from uk lar.. then teach us the thinking hats! there are 6 colors, so 6 hats.. duh..

the white hat-- facts

the red hat-- emotions

the yellow hat-- benefits (advantages)

black hat-- caution, bad pts (disadvantages)

blue hat-- plan, er.. forgot le..

green hat-- thinking out of the box!

cool heh? haha.. damn happy k.. write latr

life is aching..

2005-08-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

love is in the air!!!! loL my headache is makin me crazy.. jingyan.. u better watch out.. i might give u another shot of my lame jokes sometime soon.. muahaha..

wateva lar

2005-08-20T19:14:00.000+08:00

haiz.. totally losing it.. having some sort of blues...

ok.. ytd.. left home late.. sheesh.. didnt want to be late and make everyone wait for me.. latr they scold me.. haiz.. wateva lar..

then called jj..she reach there liao.. she i tell her buy e pressie first.. G-string.. most most impt one.. jj was saying tt TM sell guitar string damn ex.. wateva lar.. ex gd mah..no need buy other stuff... but turned out to be even cheaper than sch one.. somemore look nicer..haha.. do u call it luck or wat.. then jj bought a black shirt.. ok lor.. quite fine with me.. =)

nicholas sms me to ask me where i was.. told him i was on e bus.. haha.. then he reminded me tt ed is also late.. haha.. gd gd.. at least im not e only one late... so i called ed.. he at outram park or somewhere there.. then before i knew it, i reach tampines liao lor!!! haha.. 969 rocks.. damn fast lor.. =)

haha.. reach there.. sheesh.. i dun like tampines interchange veri hard to find where i am suppose to go.. lucky it was e rite way.. or else... haiz.. dun wanna think bout it.. jj said wait for me at TM front entrance there.. haha.. finally got here.. among e masses of ppl--saw jingyan!! ok.. dun get me wrong.. he was wearing green--LIME GREEN.. so abit e veri obvious from e crowd.. haha.. he was with jon and nicholas and this guy called eliza? ok.. nono.. tts a gal's name.. elisa? no.. tts still a gal's name.. wateva lar.. but same pronounciation as elisa (sorri lar) ... i asked them where jj was.. turned out i didnt see her.. she was at e junction.. -.-

ok.. happily walk to bus interchange.. they say dun wait for ed liao.. so i ASSUME tt jon told ed to go on his own or sth... then latr found out tt jon forgot bout him... -.- haiz... never understand y they are gd frens...

haha.. ok.. got down e bus.. go to jon's house.. damn nice house lar.. haha.. anyway.. jj started giving out surveys.. i help her lor.. then wen to their guest room there and slack.. jon was giving ed instructions on where to stop.. apparently he manage to get onto e rite bus.. haha.. anyway.. damn funni lar.. he was like saying to ed:'ok.. u past this place then tell me.. cos i can see e bus from e window... ' haha.. then when he saw e bus .. he was like :" now!NOW! press the bell!!"
loL.. pro... ]

k.. ed came.. nth much.. still pretty ok lar.. then jj and me ask jon for his guitar.. wan to prac and play mah.. then jingyan and nicholas i think.. they were trying to use jon's msn to chat with some ppl.. haha.. so they locked e door--veri unfortunately with me and jj inside..GREAT.. no guitar and nth much to do.. finally they opened e door! GUITARRR!!! yay... jj was playing her songs.. then i play romance del moore or sth.. duno how to spell.. turn out ed noe e whole song!!! MY TIAN.. so pro!!!

then latr when down.. dunno wat to do.. sit at one corner and play e guitar.. then latr ed was teaching me e nx part of e song.. haha.. was damn happy lar... damn damn happy.. i love tt song k.. ed rocks.. so nice.. haha. jingyan got moved.. wanted to learn.. latr he was like in e guest room playing it...haha.. anyway.. forgot when le.. start telling lame jokes to jingyan.. until he cant eat le.. dun get me wrong.. its not laugh until canot eat le.. its lame until no appitite.. haiz.. so mean lor... e jokes were funni k.. haiz..

o.. i think then kokiku they all came.. then they we to play ps or sth.. haha... jj was looking for jiang nan chords.. i was bored.. went downstairs.. bored still..wen upstairs and use e com again... haiz.. then cut cake..

ok cant be bothered to write le...

sick..sick ...sick

2005-08-14T21:26:00.000+08:00

ok.. im officially sick---dun think sick.. im sick as in ill.. started sneezing since (alliteration!!!) morning *ahhhccchhhooo* haiz.. now with tissue stuck onto both my nostrils to stop e flow of er.. a certain gooey stuff.. haiz..

coughing like siao too.. haiz.. those who noe me should noe tt most of e times i love to talk.. but now cannot liao.. cos everytime i talk i'll cough like siao *cough* haha... i think tmr go on e train.. ppl think i got SARS or sth.. o man.. like wow.. i hope i can be quaratined or sth.. at least i get to stay at home and rest =)

haha.. tmr monday le.. start of sch.. will get to see our dear mrs yue.. with her interesting jokes and stuff.. then will have music and dance!!! yay.. haha.. love dance.. thou not gonna do dance.. just gonna help ms amy with her paper work.. haha... realise mrs yue didnt update her son's blog since she started term 3.. hm.. she must be pretty busy.. haiz.. just give birth leh.. must not tire herself.. hahahaha.. yeh.. haiz.. sneezing like siao.. k lar.. shall not decor my screen with bits of er.. germs.. etc.. k lar.. regards guys.. gd luck for eng andlite for those taking it tmr.. haha

k.. stay away from me incase u get sick..
*aaaaaacccchooo*

choir rocks!!!

2005-08-09T10:00:00.000+08:00

haha.. choir damn nice!! rocks..
first wen to take mrt.. then somehow met mr everett on e train.. haiz.. cant be so dao rite? so go together lor.. then reached clementi.. then met van.. then wen to eat macs..

wasnt plannin to eat much.. both save money and fats mah.. but then van say wat i eat she also eat.. then of cos i take one set meal lar! got chance to make her eat leh!!! haha..
got a double cheese burger meal--quite nice.. but i wasnt tt hungry.. so..yeh.. everett pro lar.. bought big mac.. then even before i touch my burger.. he finish his liao! pro lor! haiz.. then he finish go play le.. so me and van finish our dinner slllllooowwwwwly.. haha

then van saw her exclassmate.. haha.. then we saw wu lei!!!! yay.. wu lei!! nice nice!!!loL.. haha . k.. van stil complain she hungry.. haha.. then she like ate more than me.. cos i didnt eat my fries.. BTW, U NOE MACS FRIES DUN DECOMPOSE??? XINER TOLE ME ONE.. SO U ALL ALL BETA BE CAREFUL!!!! YUP

k.. called everett to tell him to come out.. me being a direction idoit.. dunno where he is lor.. then later we were talking to e bus interchange, then he told us to wait for jy.. k lor.. haha.. jy look quite diff from wat i remembered.. his face seem familiar.. hm.. loL but to my.. utter.. erm.. surprise... yuling from 204 was also there.. o well... should hav known all RSS de mah.. haha.. k lor me and van extra lor.. should not hav gone with them lar.. should hav made van threaten louis or sth.. but on e other hand.. like tt i might be daoed.. o well..haha

k lor.. took bus lor.. ok .. wait wait.. impt thing- JINGYAN SAT WITH YULING.. AS IN.. SIT BESIDE YULING.. then leave poor everett sitting along lor.. i mean.. not tt i pity everett.. i noe he's dao..but .. a guy would rather sit with a gal then a guy.. like wow.. haiz.. dunno wat he thinkin lor.. man..

k lah.. got down e bus, everett, famous for walking fast.. walk until dunno how fast.. van already pissed le.. then jy and yl also.. walk freakin fast.. dun they noe sth called slippers (van) and muscle ache (me) ??? haiz.. wateva lar.. dun give a damn le..

ok.. finally got to ucc.. wah.. must thank everett!! direction so good.. we thot he going where.. anyway just follow lor. then it turned out to be toilett!!! toilet! where i need!!! haha.. damn happy lor.. then we got into e theatre le.. thou damn empty lar but dun give a damn.. finished e front of my geo ws.. haha.. actually copy from dear van lar.. loL

then jy, yl and ek came.. jy and yl hav to pass us to get to their seat mah.. i was trying to make life difficult for them..but obviously.. i did a poor job.. haiz.. wateva lar.. then ek.. sit er.. beside me lar.. loL wah.. de damn pro lar. grow so tall for wat.. then he playin dunno wat thingy.. psp arh? dunno lar.. anyway.. he prop his elbows on e handle thingy.. then i doing my geo mah.. then i dun hav enough space le.. EVERETT.. U ARE NOT E ONLY ONE WITH LONG ARMS HOR.. haiz.. no choice lar.. complain to him then he say : my fault arh?

kao.. fine lor.. dun wan piss him off.. hav to wei qu meself.. *hmph*

ooo.. forgot le.. louis and his fren, who is also jj's exclassmate came.. hm.. after wat kokiku tole me rite.. im slightly nicer to ri ppl .. but well.. its things they do tt make me think tt way in e first place.. cant really blame me rite?wateva lar.. anyway... they came lar.. sit beside van lor.. then tok tok tok lor.. i didnt tok with them lar.. dunno them mah..

FINALLY start le.!!!! haha.. saw jj.. e first song abit.. ghostly.. then tt day is gui jie di yi tian!!! my tian!! haiz.. first half not bad lor.. haha..

then second half.. damn farnie! haha.. then everett was laughin like siao.. then i wasnt laughin.. haiz. affect me lar.. then van was damn.. wat u call it.. composed??? i dunno.. but like.. veri.. well mannered? erm.. nvm cant find e word... aiyah.. veri nice jiu dui le...

then latr must sing sch song!!! haha.. i damn happy.. then somemore sch cheer.. van didnt cheer!! i sore throat plus phlegm and stuff.. so cant cheer loud and low enough.. =(

haha.. van's dad nice nice.. sent me to mrt station ... then take train home!!! haha

SAT--BAND CONCERT
ok lar.. dunno how to get there mah.. got nice nice everett to bring me there.. haha..

reach there.. saw jj.. haiz.. she wear until damn nice lor.. haha.. k lar.. saw how e guys do e dunno wat u call it thingy.. like.. u noe when they greet each other or sth.. haha.. damn funni lar.. was laughin like siao.. then saw jy.. he pro lor.. his shirt reads-make love, not war.. loL pro lar..

k.. concert start le.. jj falling asleep.. i told her to lean on my shoulder.. wah.. she did leh.. haha.. then latr everett was falling asleep too!! haha.. then jy and this other guy was like.. pushin his head round.. loL..

INTERMISSION!!!
haha. jj wanted to go toilet.. jy lead e way.. i just follow for fun.. no where to go... then jj go into toilet.. jy and me wait outside.. tok tok tok lor.. he was like sayin ytd... everett at e choir said 'no, no, no' .. sounded damn rude.. huh? i didnt noe leh.. he did say tt .. but tt was mean to be like.. sarcarsm.. hm.. dunno lar.. diff perspective mah.. loL then wait and wait and wait.. and saw jj walking to us from e threatre.. haiz.. she got out.. didnt see us and left.. tian arh..loL

then they go somewhere and tok.. then i need to visit the lavatory!!!.. so mafan..loL so wen lor.. then latr kena lost again! o man.. haiz.. then got back.. jj sitting with jy.. then beside jy is this person i dunno.. he was gesturing to everett to tell him to sit beside him.. so i sit one chair space from tt guy lor.. then everett was behind me.. then he sat one chair space from me.. like wow.. haiz.. he cant hear isit?? wateva lar.. but actually it was everett who sat down first.. hm.. then jy sms me: i think u hurt his feelings...
wateva lar.. dun wanna care...
then everett good lor.. got parents fetch.. jj good lor.. got jy bring home.. me poor thing lor.. try and find my way back home.. but then latr jy say his parents not coming..so took bus with jj and jy.. at least i wasnt lost rite?? haha.. good good.. cos when i first got there.. ed was there.. then i thot he might be still there.. then got someone pei me mah.. but called him.. wah.. he at home already.. -.- haiz..

took train home lor.. wah.. how come ghost festival start le hor, i always go home so late..loL

k lar.. shall crap on ndp and stuff latr!

loL

2005-08-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

haha.. today damn funny.. my slpin position not rite... so neck kena cant turn all e way to e left.. damn pain lar.. then latr guitar prac quit abit.. then need to bend over mah.. then neck even more pain.. back also... haiz..

mourned over my unsuccessful attempt of getting into air pistol, haiz.. nvm.. shall move on to happier topics

yixin pro leh.. according to a bk, she should have severe deprssion.. but she like e person in my grp tt is least probable to get depression de.. her score for tt assessment was even higher than me lar.. and im like e most probably person to get depression in my grp..ha.. actually.. if i were to design my own hor.. i might just go and ask nicholas to help me make anti signs for all e schs.. then put it on my pullover--tada! wun it be so cool! but i bet i'll be hacked on e head once i wear tt outta sch.. maybe even in sch (those ppl whose sister, brother watso ever in tt sch de) .. loL i think i better dun lar.. latr ppl really hate me lar.. and i dun think i wan tt.. even kokiku also not tt anti other schs like.. like she said.. better keep it low ...

haha.. then was going home.. then cant squeeze into e damn 105.. then its definite tt we would hav to wait for more than 20 mint.. somemore might not squeeze in again.. i was just complainin.. and dunno wat to do.. when another 105 came!! god lor!! wow.. im so so so so so happy lar.. then somemore got seats!! haha.. so happy..

k.. im confused bout tea tree and t3.. god.. i need to rest my neck..

then my and zp talk bout makin pullover, its getting kinda cold in class.. would love to hav someting warm and nice

life is ok now

2005-08-01T19:58:00.000+08:00

haha.. life not bad now.. suprisingly manage to like pass my geo fa... though i like totally give up hope on geo liao..i really dunno leh.. cos i dun do tt bad in geo.. as compared to hist..so should i take hist or geo?? ahh.. i dunno lar.. some1 tell me to go flip a coin.. hm.. maybe.. i should..

haiz.. just finished mambo and a dance i dunno how to spell de.. haha... ok lar.. i too lazy to type le..k
bye

just let me die....really..

2005-07-30T10:09:00.000+08:00

i dunno y.. maybe its just one of my mood swings.. i dunno.. i dunno how to cope with stress.. i dunno how to cope with frenship probs.. r/s probs.. EVERYTHING i just feel like dying basically.. just let me disappear from this world.. totally.. everything would be better and easier.. zp wun hav probs with yy... yx wun be so segregated in pri sch... 203 classmates wun feel so inferior cos of e height prob.. and my mum wun be so worried over stuff.. maybe they dun be married even.. wun tt be nice..
yup no doubt ppl might be sad ~~on the rare occasion of cos~~ well.. im sorri.. i just cant live this life anymore.. i cant.. i just cnat.. i feel like dyin..just die.. die.. die.. maybe get knocked down by a car.. make it an accident, then like i might not be so guilty.. no one would miss me much de.. i just wanna die DIE!!! oh man.. i dunno wat to do now... maybe just let me die.. nth much in this world for me to miss.. well.. maybe some.. but well.. lets just say they are better off without me.. yupp..
i just think life sux.. as in really sux.. i dunno wat to do.. im stressed..but i cant do anything bout it.. im not eatin .. only water.. plain water.. argh.. just let me die.. slpin pills aint gd.. hope i can get cancer, all e better de..

pistol mania

2005-07-28T19:21:00.000+08:00

haiz.. asked mrs tay today.. haiz.. cant join... no matter wat.. unless 2 ppl quit airrifle.. then i can happily join.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz.. haiz..haiz..haiz..haiz..haiz..... k lar.. go cry le..

just let me die

2005-07-27T19:47:00.000+08:00

ok.. i really dunno wat to do.. i wanna die.. just like tt.. i dun for all e ppl who might hate me for tt, like there would be much..
first physics test, totally screwed it.. screwed as in screwed.. not like those type of pro ppl.. like wrong one tini one mark qn say screwed and fail e whole test le.. for me its really screwed.. i do everything wrong le.. i pass i happy le..

then airpistol.. really wanna join it.. then cannot join! i mean.. i dunno y i wanna join.. i hope its not san fen zhong re du.. but i think its not.. i really wanna try air pistol.. even if its just like.. outside course (which obviously would be ex enough for my parents to faint) then they need e damn fuckin safra membership.. which i cant get.. no matter wat, cos my father aint nsman.. o man.. i think i'll go and die.. end these misery..but.. haiz.. sorri. huggies..

until i get over u

2005-07-27T16:35:00.000+08:00

listenin.. to until i get over u.. so sad song lor.. haiz.. makin me depressed haiz..
k lar.. today got my choir concert tix.. sitting beside van and everett.. like so funni, cos latr like tall taller tallest! loL.. haha.. then van wearin skirt.. haha.. i, ofcos not wearin skirt, probably sth normal.. jeans lar.. wat else haha..loL... me and van are e only 2 gals from my class in e 15 buck seats.. ok lah.. not tt bad.. as in.. at least sitting together rite? haha..=)
van and i plannin to make this nice nice corrigated plastic board thing, then write sth nice lar.. like.. JJ ROCKS.. loL ok tts kinda lame.. sth nicer lar haiz.. nth to do..bored... bye

crying

2005-07-25T19:51:00.000+08:00

ok.. i hav never like.. just sit there and cry alone before ... i dun think so anyway.. im like super sad now.. and i dunno wat to do... how come things can turn out this way? like.. so horrible.. sth gd.. sth not bad.. turn into sth like this? i keep feeling its my fault.. too stubborn.. too possessive...too selfish.. maybe i am.. cos if i were to blame this on another person.. it seems unreasonable.. and it seems mean and stuff... well, it falls back to e basic fact of wat??? i dunno... everything just screw up like a crap com! im crazy le.. i dun wanna think bout it..but i still hav not reach their stage of not toking bout it yet.. haiz.. anyway.. wats e problem with it? its just.. almost nth! it was so crap ytd.. and now.. its like this! like wtf, its just nth! NTH!!! so y did it screw up like tt? i dunno!! i dunno!!! maybe tts how ppl see me when im depressed--depressed over small tini mini stuff.. well... at least now im lookin at it at another person's pt of view.. but i how i wish e person depressed is me.. so tt i dun hav to be so pained in seeing other ppl suffer.. and not being able to help.. it pains it.. badly.. like more than i am depressed.. knowing tt someone whom u care is not telling u sth.. just becos thou is sad and depressed.. i duno.. maybe its too much to ask from a depressed soul... i just wish fri would come soon.. maybe it would be over, maybe it wun.. but at least then i would be able to force everything out from them.. i dun care.. they agreed wah... so i can poke in on fri.. gonna blog again then.. maybe.. im telling u.. im going crazy. totally crazy. wat to do?
today whole day like cant concentrate. just cos too worried. i never knew, was i like tt? as in makin ppl this worried? i hope not.. if its really like tt, well.. im really sori. ok. i must stop dotting so much, i think its quite irritating for others. k too sad to write now

IM TELLING U, I HAV A WEAK HEART, LITERALLY. AS IN SOMETIMES MY HEART WILL BEAT SUPER FAST AND IM LIKE GONNA FAINT LIKE TT. GET IT? DUN FREAK ME, LIKE U ARE DOIN NOW.

haiz..

2005-07-24T09:39:00.000+08:00

haha.. ytd was fun man.. totally fun... ok.. maybe not so much.. but i had alot of laughter mah..
k first, round 5 sth.. went to amk and waited for tt everett koh.. haiz.. dunno wats e matter with him lar.. make me wait so long.. lucky zp called me and told me bout e geo thingy.. then took up some =) then finally! mr everett koh chier wei is there! haha.. then went to cityhall together to wait for yuhan. finally found yuhan, and she told us she wanna go toilet.. erm.. so let her go lor.. then we wait there..
----ten minutes later----
just called jj.. she already in acsi le.. somemore one hour before concert... she said shes gonna find a place and slp there.. i told her to be careful not to get raped.
k yuhan got back, everett complained tt becos of her, we missed 4 trains-didnt noe he so observant.. i thot we only miss 2 trains..
k got on e train.. yuhan lean against one glass panel, everett the other one.. i stand beside yuhand and crap.. then suddenly, out of the blue-everett talked to this person! ok.. probably his senior lar.. but like pretty funni, cos from a stranger's pt of view, it look as if 2 complete strangers just start talkin... *hahaha*
haha.. everett, live up to his reputation as a daoer lor... walk so fast..haiz.. then we took some bus, cant rmb wat (dun matter rite, like im gonna go there again...) and got to acsi (its big.. its quite nice.. and it makes me freak, cos its so nice..) haiz.. found jj beside e cyber lab thingy.. then everett disappeared.. probably to put his bag in his locker or sth (wonder y he does tt... ) yeh.. then we just walk around, look at their long wall, filled with nice nice trophies, etc..
ok .. then we went in
big shock! big shock!!!
the chairs in the auditorium is plasic chairs lor! SUPER HIGH CLASS HOR.. i thot it would be like hci theatre like tt.. super comfy chairs.. yuhan was sayin tt they put such nice chairs, so as to prevent us from fallin asleep.. hm.. possible, heh?
ok lar, hav to admit tt e chamber orch is quite gd, but i dun really noe how to appreciate music... so find it abit boring after a while...
then.. just after a mere 30 min, its intermission liao..somemore intermission is 20min! kao.. me and yuhan do nth lor.. everett smsed yy and wished her happy bdae on fri.. but her reply was: who are u? haha.. then everett tell me to think of something far fetched.. i asked jj for a name.. then just anyhow put inside... haha.. everett really sent it lor.. then tt person whose name we used was her exclassmate lar.. then yy ask back: how did u get my no? haha.. everett was typing sth like.. found it in e toilet or sth.. anyway.. sth farfetched lar.. me and yuhan were both pokin our heads in to see wat hes typin mah... then later he disappeared le.. then dunno when appeared again.. trying to strangle his senior in chamber orch or sth.. then started strangling jon... haha.. close contact mah.. they look as if they were doing some other stuff.. *ahem*
then jj appeared and told us to help her hold stuff..then she left again... then me and yuhan went up to look for her.. then found her.. and went back le.. cos concert startin le mah...
haha.. then later nicholas told me they went off to sit at another place.. wanted to dao everett.. then everett pro lor.. ran off to sit upstairs with his sch mates..haha dun understand guys..
suddenly rmbed everett owe me money.. told him to return me after concert.. somemore he need to bring me to mrt station mah.. cos i dunno how to get back.. later die there.. *shivers* haha.. anyway.. got money from him mah.. then he diggin in his locker for dunno wat thing.. then i went to toilet.. and lost my way lor.. cant find anywhere.. then called everett.. and finally found my way out.. yay... didnt really reply nicholas' sms.. then later found him at e bus stop.. jon and tt ren xiang person pro lor... went holland v to eat supper.. haha.. im direction idiot.. dunno if its near acsi.. if it is.. then ok lor.. but if its far rite.. they are crazy lor.. anyway all none of my business.. haha..
k lar.. then went dover.. e super nice mrt station.. then took e train home lor.. was readin inspector calls.. i didnt hear anything until e train announced "yishun" and i looked up.. wow time seems to fly when one is reading, heh? haha.. then walk home from mrt lar.. wat u expect.. haha.. ok sat nite is quite fun... hm.. nx time other sch concerts i also wanna go... yay...
haha.. irock.. bye... tag ok?

its just life now...

2005-07-20T19:42:00.000+08:00

i made my title sound as if what i previously had wasnt life.. haha.. yeh.. maybe.. *silly grin* haha.. didnt noe tt ppl actually go my blog.. then yy went and told me she saw e part i wrote in caps... kao.. wats e big deal.. i just realised tt i've always thot tt it was sort of my fault tt i pissed her off.. and now she daos me... well.. i dun deny its partially my fault, but not completely.. and pls if one calls me despo, look at herself.. whos e one who loves talking to this particular person bout her guy frens and stuff? is tt not called despo? welll.. i actualli think its normal for gals to do tt.. then if tts is fine.. then wats wrong with me.. like i chat with guys every single moment im online.. i dun ok, somemore most of the people (both genders) go online super late.. and im like online super early.. somemore my mum restricts my going-onlines.. tell me.. how am i despo then?
i dunno bout other ppl.. i think chatting with guys is normal lor.. only deprived ppl think its part of despo-ism.. for others.. it might be just normal friends, like gals... haiz.. for me.. i just cant be bothered with guys for now.. pissed with all guys cos of acsi and ri.. no faith in them to be nice... nor worth to be frens..
thus.. i think yy daoing me could hav 2 possibillities.. which, i dun wanna further discuss..just in case in stumble upon my blog.. and she'll make my life more horrible... oh well...

ok.. today sl.. not so fun..but just one hour mah.. so slack slack there.. finish liao haha.. happy lor.. finish off all my hours le!!! yay...
k.. i wanna surf blog.. cya..

guitar concert-ended on a HIGH note!

2005-07-17T11:41:00.000+08:00

now i truely understand y zp always says guitar rocks--cos it realli rocks..
ok fri was ok, only freakin tirin cos of e court shoes...i keep walkin round and act impt (sth i love doing in pri sch, cos i prefect mah..) but walking in court shoes is like... killer... but i dun deny i like e sound of it... haha..ok ok e concert..
fri one was..just nice...and it was e first night, so slightly nervous.. but since no one i noe was there..it was just plain nice lar... but sat was e fun one...
ok sat, i noe a whole grp of then are coming.. which like some i dunno one lor... and i specially told them to come early.. and guess wat? they were late! so pro lor... super pissed with them for tt... and i tell u.. if i havnt tell them to go thru my door..they wun lor.. so tore their tix..and for got to look for nicholas..sheesh.. haiz.. then shooed them in i got star getting pissed with them all over again...
then i wen in to peep.. and saw tt xian, was sitting beside my mum ... ah.. so qiao.. and poor everett.. haha.. sit alone.. so mean of them lor... O AND IM SAYIN TT NOT COS I LIKE HIM..BUT COS IM THOSE TT OF PPL WHO CANT STAND LONELINESS ok? get it straight...
haha.. then durin intermission... van tell me to tell them to cheer 'go shawn' haiz.. should hav known tt jon wun do it lor... haizz... wateva lah... nx yr bah...
haha.. then e whole thing ended... i ran off to collect feedback form... but found it boring..so wen back to hug ppl... then got 2 roses from mum, one from zp parents, one from xian and one from jon... (he gave it to me cos he dun wanna bring it home) happy lor-so many roses... wah but not as nice as van's (dun even wanna think bout it..) ya.. then ed super nice.. gave me a wristband leh! livestrong, not much..but at least he rmb lor..i thot he was those type of stm ppl but he got rmb! cos he asked me if i wan 1 in like, may 30..then now its like july 16 (ytd) so ..super happy lor =D
then we went home liao..i miss e best part, when everyone get sprayed with cream..haiz..

photos!

2005-07-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

haha...okok...

acsi faggots

2005-07-07T18:55:00.000+08:00

faggots faggots... hey, i used to hav a not bad impression of acsi ok, now.. wah... all gone liao.. they suck man...
ok, it was geo lesson, and tt stupid geo teacher wasnt there again... gd thing, cos can slack..but our test is like coming lor.. wateva lah.. some of my group for geo performance task were hungry, so we went to canteen to dicuss our work...
scene: in canteen, buying food
we put all our things in this round table lah.. then when i went back to e table, wah got one whole grp of acsi ppl there... i was like: is it zp and yx too cute le arh?
they turn out to be tryin to sell their chamber orchestra tix (bet nobody wan to buy de lor) then i rmb tt yuhan wanted to go, and jj wanted to go to support jing yan, but cant make it.. so she wan yuhan go, but yuhan dun wan go alone, so somehow jj wan me to go accompany yuhan...
yeh.. i tried to promote my guitar tix to e stupid faggots, and they said tt if i buy their tix, they buy guitar tix... haiz.. for guitar, willing to sacriface 8 bucks... *sob* yeh.. so i pulled yuhan down all e way from my class (which is fourth floor, and canteen is like basement 1) yeh.. and we bought e tix... and they start daoin me.. like as if nth happened... i was like... so u all go make it for guitar? and they were acting sort of... as if they dunno anything like tt.. then said, oh.. sorri, we cant make it..! god lor.. pls lah.. wat type of ppl are they lor! i swear tt i would find a way to track them down and make them buy e tix! (one kinder person- probably feel sorri or sth-bought a tix, but still not fair, cos they promised to buy 2) so i dun care.. they have to buy it.. no matter what... fuck lah.. how come got such ppl one..
faggots
FAGGOTS
F.A.G.G.O.T.S

ah.. screams..

2005-07-03T16:48:00.000+08:00

damn crap... now im like already super stressed with hmwk.. and stil got all e problems coming up... ok, i dun deny i got some fault.. but... i guess.. im crazy and irritatin, thus think of ridiculous idea sometimes... should hav never act cool in e first place... o well.. cant do anything now...

stress out

2005-06-28T20:29:00.001+08:00

im stressed OUT, not stress out.. get tt straight....
now lets see what i need to do

rs
math pt
chinese pt
geo pt
revise for history test in w3
revise for eng test in w3

is this enough for a poor little gal like me?? some more needa prac for guitar.. and for guitar concert, im like wearing wat??? BLAZER WITH CULOTTES AND TIE AND COURT SHOES!!! i can die lah... haiz.. then everyone gonna laugh at me.. so much for promoting guitar concert like siao.. but tis still nice.. and u still MUST GO!!! YAY

ahaha.. today stupid everett pissed me off.. damn pissed lah.. then for rs, e teachers scolded us for not doing much in e holidays.. but i thot holidays mean no hmwk one??? then how come now got this kinda crap come out one?? so unfair sia... damn pissed... wtf

pon a bit of guitar today.. cos no more prac for me, just see e seniors play.. so me and zp left lor.. then i got hm at like 7.. damn happy.. cos if i didnt leave early.. i would like get hm at round 8 lor.. yah.. so like going off early for bout 15 min save me 1hour!! the horrors of peak hours.. scary man...

never update my blog for like dunno how long liao lor.. im sure u all miss my entries rite?? (i noe u all now pukin blood...) haha.. decided to try and write entries often so tt i can fa xie my feelings... hopefully lah.. and no one read my blog anyway.. so dun really have to worry tt muc on what i write lor... hahahaha

today damn stressed lor..

haiz...

no mood to write sia...

i hate my blog design..

damn ugly...

i think i go and change lah...

stress out

2005-06-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

im stressed OUT, not stress out.. get tt straight....
now lets see what i need to do

rs
math pt
chinese pt
geo pt
revise for history test in w3
revise for

im back in china

2005-06-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

yup... back in china.. safe and sound... not tt happpy cos i miss singapore...
and back in china alone is knida not fun... haha.. minus the fact tt i can buy anithing i wan
haha..im bored..bye

going away...maybe its a gd thing..but what if i miss those tt are in singapore?

2005-05-27T11:42:00.000+08:00

haiz.... giong back to china on monday... gd thing and bad thing..
gd thing
- can hav a nice haircut... at a cheap price
- can see my cousin, whom i miss alot...but she miss me more than i miss her...
- see my granfather, i hope he sleeps well...dunno where he's buried though...
- buy clothes
- buy cheap nice pressies
- see my grannies
- curse my dad
- enjoy china summer (never experienced it since 7 yr old..)
ok bad things
-probs with grp work
-miss frens like siao
-no com
-going everywhere alone
-depressing things would pop up
-i might get fat cos of the nice fd there...
-no phone (even if there is, i dun hav anyone to sms to...)

ok lah..tts bout it for the time being...

haiz... today is fri..now its com studies, mr chia damn nice person..always give us time to do our own stuff...so now im bloggin...and i noe no one reads my blog...so i can almost threat is public blog as a personal diary le...

bet if i put down the name of my crush thousand times also no one will noe...ok.. i shall not risk it lah... =)

haha... k.. im sort of bored...shall go and type some testis muahahaha.... =)

tata

im not suppose to be happy rite now...but i feel like the luckiest gal

2005-05-23T20:42:00.000+08:00

i think i should not be even thinkin bout bein happy... i think im gettin more and more self centered- i think i need to think of others more.. yup..so dear gd frens of mine, if u think im bein irritatin, just be nice to me for like 7 more days-- b4 i disappear to china for a while...haiz..i will definitely miss u all...haiz...how..

yup...so now, i should not be thinkin too much about stuff tt distresses me.. i should be thinkin bout stuff that soothes me...im so damn emotionally unstable nowadays lah...haiz..

yupp..so yy still daoin me... i guess makin some stuff seem worse than it already is..but well, what can i do? try to ignore it just live my life on??? i dunno... i need help...i need support, all the support and comfort all i can get...

yupp, so yan aman and xin they all are quite nice lah..zp also... hee..so i guess tts my sliver lining rite now.... oh...and yuling, pls stop the stupid cheer--hav to admit its creative, but its lame..loL

yup...ok...love ya all guys..oh and yiyue, sorri...yup..

happy, not happy, happy...

2005-05-17T08:23:00.000+08:00

im damn siao siao now... one minute im happy, the nx not... haha..i guess tts just me, the crazy undecisive me..loL
now yiyue is daoing me like siao... i decided not to be bothered by her-it wold just affect my mood so drastically tt i might go into depression again-so far i've survived a term! yay! i think im going ok le..only tt my modd depends on some things..and it might not to as gd as i hav thot...but wat the heck, i'll just stick to what i think...

some times i think i think too much.. sometimes i think i think too little bout some stuff--haiz.. the things i hav to think veri much i didnt, the stuff i dun need thinkin i think too much..how??? maybe the things i think too much are meant to be thot so much...and the stuff not thot so much are mean to be like tt as well??? i dunno..maybe..must maybe..

haiz..so one minute im happy, the other im not lor..but i dun really care lah..now i go accordin to : i dun give a ~~f***ing~~damn bout it..loL yay...i rock!!

2005-05-04T22:22:00.000+08:00

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ESFP

The Performer
You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.
You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #3 Match: INFP

The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #5 Match: ENFJ

The Giver
You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's" Your Personality Type?

confusion

2005-04-26T20:27:00.000+08:00

haha..i guess once again, im damn confused... i dunno...just concentrate on studies for a while i guess, then think bout my problems, anyway, this time nx wk i would be rather free le, okok, i noe still got stupid amath test, but i dun tt would be too hard, cos not much to revise, if dunno then really dunno le wah...so haha...can slack abit... hm..i was thinking of go watch a movie or sth, but there all so many things to do after the EOIs! need to get 3 presents ($50 seem veri little now.. daddy..where are u? i need money) need to train for 2.4, which is tt fri! and still need to play and hav fun and prepare a belated card....ok, now it dun seem to be alot liao...
oh yah, i'll have to change my file- it sucks, thinking of changing into a ring file, maybe light green or white, haha..xiner tempted me into getting one, it looks not bad, then can carry on hands, without letting any paper fall out like snowflakes..loL..haha..it really seem like a gd idea..will definitely go and get one..haha
haiz..after zp told me tt sick sick incident now i so so so so sicked out le..haiz..how..
kk got stuff to do..lost one history ws..die..haiz..bye nice day everyone..
oh yah, happy bdae everett :)

confusion, closely followed by maybe depression...haha..and then i dunno le...

2005-04-23T07:47:00.000+08:00

okok, i noe i should be finishing off my stupid assignments now, haiz..but i really wan to ~~pen~~ type this down, maybe it would be of some help... one would not noe how confused i am...i really think i suck, or maybe im a freak...haiz..wateva
its stupid, how come i dunno if i like this person or not?? i mean it like ...the whole day u think: ok i dun like this guy le...k fine, just nice mah..dun wan to get into further sticky ends...--then one stupid ncie msg makes u think tt u like the person liao... haiz..how confusing can call these get????
and now te problem of frens and stuff come out--its scary..how come i feel tt im closer to exclassmates rather than classmates? haiz..i really dunno..and now im regreting like siao tt i didnt join om lah...freak, dun care go and call amy to ask ask bout om ...maybe i can join nx yr or sth..(as if lah..)
and i still didnt forget y i didnt join om, ~~im not blaming anyone if u are reading this~~...okok lets just say im to influenced by frens and didnt wan to be extra...im introvert among strangers, so maybe tts the reason y i didnt go..haiz... now if i joined i would probably be going to america? i dunno..cos im 15 mah..then hav to join the sec 3 team, like amy, then its quite nice wah.. add one more person inside wun really affec the whole thing rite? and now come to think of it, i had actually put my name down, but in the end, i told krisin to cancell off my name...haiz...i noe tt doing sth for frens tt u would wan them to do for you would make u feel happy, but i think i hav to learn tt sometimes they might not wan to do the same to u...
fren's words can be extremely hurting ~~espeically one of their's~~....or maybe its becos our type of frenship is like tt...or maybe becos her person is like tt, thus i become like tt...or sth..i dunno....
haiz..sometimes u just think the person sucks or sth...but actually she's still nice lah... oh wateva...i need someone to talk to...but i cant find anybody sia... no one can help me..haiz...
im confused and sort of sad, but i noe there will be frens tt i could turn to lah..hahaha... oh i think i need to type 2 more letters (instead of write) haha...make things easier, just incase i not seeing her today, then cannot pass her the letter....
haha..never managed to watch smallville b4, yesterday watched, its so damn nice..haha..nx time will watch every friday!..loL
haiz.. 3 or 4 ppl's bdaes coming lah..how i die, no money liao..then somemroe 2 ppl are quite close, then hav to but big big pressie...wah lao lah..haiz..dun care dun care...

haiz..now back to my confusion lah.... sometimes i feel that i like this person, then one qn, *pah!* the feeling gone liao... then like the person again, then dun like, then like again..haiz..
maybe i dun really like theperson..i just like someone for the sake of liking someone... to keep my mind off things...i dunno... if its like tt..i think im really a freak..but i dunno..i dun think im those type of ppl lah..but...i dunno..haiz...

haiz..zp keep suan-ing me lor...and i never suan her b4... ok i noe i dun look like nice wat..but i like never say bout her u noe... even if she just look normal, i tell her she look cute lor..and anyway she really look cute wah...so wtf lah... stop suaning me can? if u wan to suan, go and learn from yuling, at least look for some funni topics to suan, stop suaning just to make urself feel superior....

okok, sorri lah...i might not really mean it...ok? so forget it..half the things i say might be like...u think its unreasonable, or maybe u dun mean it, just as a joke, wateva, and dun mean it..and sometimes i joke bout height and weigth(i didnt say anything bout weight lah..just tt sometimes i think im fat..then u tell me im not..and sutff..blah) yah..so maybe it might not be true..wateva...haiz..
ok this reminds me of sth else...haiz... last yr netball carn..it was everything bout fun, it was the most depressing day of my life, k..and i doubt u would be reading this, so fine, i'll just voice it out...and even if u see it, just forget it...overalll i still think u are a great fren...
last yr netball carn..i was so damn fcuking tried after my 3 day camp..and 4 shades darker (mroe tanned) okok..so get the idea of my condition tt day? i mean i noe im not tt gd in netball..but i'll just try my best, rite? i wun mind if yanhan scolds me, cos shes gd at it... but zp, ok u are gd at shooting, fullstop, im telling u , whether u like it or not, ur shooting hand position is wrong, urs is the basketball hold, the netball hold is different, fine u dun wan to listen, or tt one works better for u, u can jsut say like tt rite, dun hav to say i keep acting pro..i dun act pro, ~~like u~~ , i just share wat i noe, if yixin tells me some pro pro stuff, i wun say she act pro, i would just say she noes sth i dunno, so share share lor...
then tt day at netball carn u hav to tell me wat to do, how to defend, like u veri like tt, yah...rite... u can even catch a ball properly...and i didnt even say anything bout it k? wateva..u really made me lose confidence, i mean even if im not tt gd, u cant find anyone to replace me le wah..so wtf, can u just say sth nice? and anyway...i noe im not tt lousy, at least better than you...and im making this very clear, if u are not pro in sth, dun boss others around! wtf.. sorri..damn pissed at life now.. wateva...bet u are gonna be angry if u read this...
haiz...i dunno...sometimes ppl are damn close minded, only think about ppl being show-off and stuff..didnt really think bout ourselves...maybe tts y life is so conplicated....haiz... the more i dun wanna live le..haiz..
oh yah, rgco got gold, not bad, at least go face to bring back home lah...hm...i think they maybe can get gold with honours nx time...jia you!!! hahaha.. =)

rocks

2005-04-13T18:30:00.000+08:00

haha...not that like rocks, but it changes for the better, or sort of better anyway... now its better, but the tests are coming, so freak freak freak...haiz..

haha..now yixin's bdae coming...so buying her stuff...i swear tat shes gonna like it lah...or else i die..lol okok
now dinner..write later ..bye

haiz..depression

2005-04-05T07:54:00.000+08:00

i realise tat i always get into seriously depression...without reason.. and need ppl to pull me out from it...haiz...poor me lah...if i go on like this..i think i'll be seriously sick...and no one would be seeing this cos they wun be reading me blog...loL

stupid guitar..be it tat im ego or wat, i dun care...i wan to play chords instead of some stupid twinkle twinkle little star melody and counter melody!!! its so lame ok...and some more not even challenging! guitar is sth i should be looking forward to..but hating it more and more now...but i hav to continue it...cos i wan to prove to myself tat i can do it... and maybe slightly better than others.... now playing the stupid guiitar part 4 with some cute cute sec 1s..i wan to play chords lah...i dun care..must go and tell the instructer...haha..

haiz.. everett just toldme the other meaning for loL: lots of luv...haiz..now cant use loL too much le..but haha veri lame leh... told that to yixin, she stated tat i say tat to everybody... -.-

now in com studies and rather bored...learning photoshop..maybe i can get an image from here to make the exclass t-shirt or pullover..haha... i wan an exclass pullover! its so cold in class lah...and seeing tat yixin comfortably wearing her nice nice co pullover..hmph...

man life still sucks..but with nice nice fren round, its not bad...haha...so right now im ok, not tt sad or anything like tat..yay =)

hope it stays long lah..but dunno...
haha..and guess wat i found on this blog's addresses list? jay's blog!! so shocked...was suspecting that yuling used this com...then i found her blog add also..haha...so i damn sure its yuling!!loL its damn funny ..but if i tell yuling she might just find it lame..loL

jay suddenly sms to ask bout how life was...haha..as if its not obvious enough tat it suck...haiz... im slacking like siao lah..not caring bout sch work...maybe i should start doing a little bit of work first...yah...

haiz..photo shop not so interesting now...quite bored u can say...got pits and teacher...cant sms or anything so now just sort of stoning and tryig to type as much as possible into this entry..haha..

oh yah! saturday we made prank calls! so funny... but i never prank call anyone..i just erm contributed my phone cos the ppl dun noe my number...and then wun noe who prank called then..hahaha.. then wen yan's house to finish most of the math hmwk and then caleed yixin to play basketball together..then later play for a while my back too pain le...so i just stand there and act extra..loL

yan's bro came to tell yan they need to go for dinner liao..so she left... then yixin also wen home and me and manda once again made ourselves "comfortable" beside the monsoon drain and talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk .... on and on for bout an hour or so..haha..so fun lah..and slack too..yay...ahahaha...

sports fest next week ...dunno wat to do yet...hope buckle wins sth and hope their mass dance is good...haha.. cant go for house comm dinner..haiz..pity... and the small holiday can go and watch movie!! yay...not bad u noe.. loL

ok this is long enough...shall not type any more...oh btw, yixin, if u are reading this...ur pressie quite ex hor...haha...must thank me and USE IT...USE IT...K...DUN KEEP IT SOMEWHERE TO COLLECT DUST.. yyup... happy reading..bye...

alice in wonderland rocks!!

hahaz im such a happy gal

2005-03-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

hahaz...shall tok bout yesterday, the *cough* wonderful rs workshop thingy..its a complete waste of time and if the sch actually paid for the teacher to come and teach, its a complete waste of money...they should use the money for other uses lor...its so damn damn damn boring..we werent listening at all lah..and everyone was just slacking there...hoping it would end sooner lor..
haha...tmr got the geo and sci thingy, but the geo thingy called of! yay...haha..then can just go for sci for a while and tata! doen and go home and stone..loL need to revise for sci liao..haven even read yet..ah...sheesh..later kena fail boi then malu liao..i wan to take boi! cos i bet its veri important one lor..and its so faun wah..haha...gtg shower and pack for tmr...
tata
Love ya all! loL

ah...

2005-03-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

haha... nowadays time seem to fly and i dunno y i am suddenly so cheerful again.. good thing though...but ppl seem to hav more problems..loL yixin crazy and angry over AI , lookin for that AI bus like siao..haiz..
me kena booked twice, both low socks...get scared ah..if dc so malu lah..haiz..
then saw sth yesterday tat made me so darn pissed off lah..i mean tat day kris was like going round the class, booking ppl, making some ppl cry, ok her job, i respect her..she's suppose to book me..fine.. but then like yesterday vivian's shirt is so so tucked out lah, and both pits were there, and they just pretend not to do anything!
ok fine...if tat day is spot check, then i suai lor...but if its not then its not tat fair liao lor.. but oh well..guess ppl will juse tel me that i deserve it...loL
so happy these days, cos com working properly liao..haha..crap crap!

kris+long talk= depression..again

2005-03-11T20:24:00.000+08:00

wateva! thanks to kris...im depressed for no reason again lah...
well, heck lah...i dun care le...just do wat i like...even if others think im freak or wat...its there and i think it might not be good to actually avoid it? i dunno..sometimes u have this feeling..then sudddenly u dun...wateva..like i said...ok...im sicked out...

philosophy!

2005-03-03T18:45:00.000+08:00

haha..i think its time for me to think bout it..the philosophies of life .... tat bares down to the simple meaning of life...

i always try to make ppl like me, be nice to ppl and hope im of some sort of importance to some nice ppl or ppl whom i take great importance of...some times i do things that i noe is veri irritating to ppl, but just cant help me...but why do i do all these things? why do i take risks tat are so obvious tat would be revealed? is it becos i wan to be reavealed? y am i like tat? y cant i just keep my stupid feelings to myself?

then i found the answer, its all life, folks, whether u like it or not..

then another thing is about goals, i understand wat our wonderful sch wan to do, making us set goals, but in this way, it makes goals veri boring, one needs interesting goals...
one person once said, if u dun hav a goal for tmr, then u hav wasted today... i think its right, one must have a goal of tmr so that today, we ccan work towards our goal... haha..so set a goal now! be it to pass ur chinese test, make ur classmates understand u more, or simply run faster...or even to make ur hair nicer, or u wan to rebond it! start now! now! now!...save up the money for ur goal, or start on it now...the goal wun be reached by itself just by hoping...we must take actions! =) =)

swim heats..so heaty..loL

2005-02-26T08:46:00.000+08:00

ah... didnt go for house prac again..sabby say i can get my hours through the camp last yr..hope so..cos i dun hav a SINGLE HOUR! ok..not that i was busy..but i really had sth on k...always diff stuff..like go jurong meet my dad and stuff..haiz...dunno lah..

ok the nice stuff, yesterday was swim heats and mass swim...ccab is so...dunno..not so nice i guess..some parts look so old! but the whole thing was not bad! though i was rather extra at times... well, i think yh didnt do much apart from swimming..which is, well, a big part liao...amy said she swam in 25 free and think got second or third...not bad for this brown rice eating person! loL why she so sporty, can run can play netball, can swim..wat nt... oh yah..but i think she cant dance well...cos last time i rmb tat she was like struggling in the dance class, rite? she and yiyue look so funny! hahahahahahaha..lol... tat 3.80 is pro one lah.. shall find sth she cant do and bully her...

i wen around looking for ppl to join mass swim lor..cos they need at least 150 ppl to get the max points... and we are like short of bout 10... so i immediately called chelz and she was at the red cross stand...she agreed to join mass and whee..one more person! and then they only need 5 more! i was like rather freaky and not veri sure, so i thought that we might not make it... and cos i feel veri extra, i decided to walk round and find ppl... i think its also cos i noe i cant swim tat day and i dun wan ppl to ask...im a veri odd person..loL..

finally after much awaiting..i met charrisa! shes my life saver! ...she joined mass and there was like already more than 150 ++ ppl..haha..

saw my motel (mottie) she so cute...dunno wat she swam in..but should be quite nice... aiyah..she know who i am le...though i keep denying that im not...and i didnt go for heats... somemore i told her my blog link..ah...ok if u are reading this, i assure u tat u seriouly guessed the wrong person cos i wasnt wthin ur eyeview from all angel and at all times..seriously...yah..

then it was mass swim..a mass of ppl and the 3 pathetic (esp me) ppl, who had to come but dun really hav much to do, ok i was the one, the 2 level coord and me wen to buy drinks..it was so far away..by the time we got back, we finished our drinks...then say bernice...almost screamed at the drinks (pls spot exaggeration)..well, i guess she was thirsty..loL... she promised not to bully me nx time and took my pepsi... i was like thinking..she got bully me meh? haha..then maybe she pushed alot of work to me..haha..jk lah..cos she so nice wah..wun happen one..rite? anyway..im so irresponsible..should be punished with work..loL

then finally some how found yuling and she said she wanted to take taxi home with me..but scared veri expensive so tried to find another person..but can..haiz.. so me, yuling and her two gd frens, valerie and wan qi (i think so anyway...not good with names..) started to walk as it was impossible to flag down a taxi there...and guess wat, we walked all the way to almost back to sch lah! and finally flag down a taxi and rmb the guitar chord chart!

ah... ed hav to pass it to me...then i think i made him wait for veri long le..haiz...so ma fan ppl..tat wat i dun wan to do...but oh well...

anyway..called him and told him i was going to np lor...then the stupid taxi driver drove straight pass np and did not stop..for a moment, yuling and i thought we were getting kidnapped..loL..cos the taxi driver didnt U turn for a long long distance! ah...so scary and yuling said the driver short changed her...cos i paid her five bucks first liao...then go np get the chord chart...thank the nice nice helpful kind soul there and wen home..

ok..i shall do homework now...tell me lame jokes leh..i wan jokes...

BUCKLEANS JOIN SWIM CARN

2005-01-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

heyy guys! if u are a bucklean, join join join join swim carn! pls pls pls...we are sort of short of ppl and if u are humane enough, pls join!

ok bout today, rather good, cos had cooking lessons and my stuff burnt again! so much for being efficient and effective, and the dear teacher over-talked and until my stupid nice nice cake burnt! oh man.. but the cookies were nice man..if only we had more choc chips..and if only i never eat up so many of it(actually not tat much lah...only 4 or 5 mah..)

then for eng yiyue and kris started arguing..wat the crap man..nth can go more irritating than tat, with yiyue insisting her point is right and kris saying that yiyue refuses to change her opinion and stand in other ppl's shoes..blah blah blah..

today yan never come to sch, cos she was sick and though she kena not accepted to guitar, she still wan to try again..i admire her persistence...by tat i think the teachers might wan to take them in .... oh pls pray for her...and God, pls help her...she hav to get in...

argh... jay not online, or else can tell him to pray for yan too..aiyah..

kk i gtg...wish me good luck for tmr chinese ting xie...bye...

school+swim carn+tkmb

2005-01-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

haiz...really getting stressed! argh! so many things to do and so little time! and today is really bored...i dunno wat to do with many stuff, esp my studies...i think i need help, though i noe no one whould come to my aid one...but (hopefully) if anyone were to be nice enough to help...just chat with me! i need help in studies...and i cant help it being slightly act pro just like i cant help being so crappy that i cant find other leg... i mean tats me...of cos i'll try and change, oh yah..and also try to be less irritating and key poh...hee...i sleepy le..blog tmr...

buai
i love my new skin

love

2005-01-23T01:35:00.000+08:00

to love and be loved! lol

anyway..im really crazy today..and i haven undated my blog since dunno when! i miss 6ab..i miss my exclassmates! haha... and i just realised how act pro and irritating and ego i am..so i must try to change! nth is impossible! so must try and be ncie to ppl lah..
haha..anyway, happy holidays everyone and rmb me!
write to me too and join swim carn! join mass swim! if u are a bucklean of cos, if u are not...u are free to join at ur own free will =)

haha..really bored now and dunno wat to do...haiz..yah and so basically the january babies are all over! yay...

gtg cya bye

i rawk

2004-12-25T19:35:00.000+08:00

ah..im too nice a person already...sending sms to everyone, well almost, on my hp in wishing them merry xmas, then unfortunately only feel replied haiz..wateva, i'll er continue to be nice..yah..

no lah, jk, looks like no one had finished their homework lor..i mean its a good thing, as im like slacking here...ok, i must switch to my hardworking self and start working now, bye!

wah..wow..whee...

2004-12-22T20:08:00.000+08:00

woah..hee..never noe ppl can be like so nice lah...ok..i dun wan to like say those type of stupid things like, really thanks for caring bout me and stuff, cos hey, i mean, it would make as if im such a er..like likeable person or sth..yah..

but just like thanks for the er sudden activeness in my tagboard, and this also shows that ppl actually read my nickname..! yah..quite glad of that..at least im not like, er forgotten or sth...

i think i got over my depression, and completely ready for er...wat u call it..the torture and of course xmas...
gtg do hmwk...
cya

oh yah...im rather courious to know who tat anonymous person is...cos im kpo..hee sorri

do i really need help

2004-12-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

ok..its like sometimes, ppl just get depressed over nth and some ppl just like erm..i dunno think its a joke or sth...esp , i think anyway, if the person were to be me...im mean..i look so cheerful! i cant like help it...its like sometimes, i feel concern of a person..i dunno whether im doing it cos i feel like it or cos i know its the correct thing to do! its like...ok this person didnt come to class, if i were free i would like call her up and ask how she was...was that just to make the person like me more, and like somehow remind her, hey im in this class too, or was i really concerned? is it becos im so used to this mask of mine that i sort of like can act veri happy despite me being sad when im alone? i tried to look for support, but i dunno who to trust, or is it just that im afraid to be alone? or wat?

im so scared and terrified of next yr, of my life..of this whole sequence thing! its like first u do this then you do that, if u are not good at this...theres nth that can make you feel better!say like my gpa this yr...its like, ok higher than wat i expected, and silently happy that i was higher than some ppl...but today when mingyue asked me for my gpa, i felt ashamed, i felt like, troubled and this stupid sinking feeling in my heart...why, its just cos..i noe i didnt put my best this yr, i completely give up revising on the last days! i watched tv b4 history exam, the whole afternoon..and i actually know quite well that history is wonderfully my worst subject...

its like when i finally fely i sorted everything, out, telling myself to study hard next yr, or even just finish doing my holiday homework, i procrastinate like siao...and it make me doubt whether i can really do it! am i able to like really put my heart down and revise? am i able to hav the heart to really really work hard? and come to think of it, the first yr in rgs was so fast! in a flash, it was gone, im still so quite sometimes and i noe i hate it...its just i feel..like so ..like rude if i were to like get so talkative with a person i just know!

its like all the bad feeling came bad all at once, just nice it clashes with the contrast of china, where the speed or wateva u call it was like slower...and more peaceful, now i really udnerstand why my fren said that china is better than singapore, but probably also cos of the relatives and no sch...but how come i hav a feeling that sch there would be better? i dunno...im just afraid that my next yr would be just like this yr, going with the flow, trying to get some more attention, acting(i dunno whether its my real self or not..)happy and cheerful, etc...i dunno...i really dunno...

i dunno wat i wan...is it..someone to really understand me? or is it some sort of blessing from God to be a hardworking person or wat? i really really dunno...its like...hey, i need some sort of help to get myself from this sort of darkness, and when some ppl really ask, like, u need any help? i dunno what to say, i dunno what i wan...its like screaming in this darkness or sth...argh...help...

help....

back

2004-12-18T20:00:00.000+08:00

im back!!!! back! back! back! back! whether u like it or not..i'll start er disturbing ppl pretty soon enough! haha...got back in the morning and start missing china...like so nice and cold and fun and carefree..and so not the environment to do homework...esp chinese ones..the tv programmes so nice lor...u can watch from morning to night..and then can go to shopping centres where everything is so cheap and then bargain and stuff....just nice my cousin rented a stall selling cosmetics in the underground shopping centre, so i wen there often..the food also nice ...tats y i grow so fat...really must lose weight liao..and next time go back cannot like tat..

the rest was like ok...yah..only that i must really really eat less..or else...i might be joining some taf club in no time...oh no..i'll just go and die if its like tat..man..must exercise liao..and must wake up early..and must..sheesh..dun wan to write le..bui..

gone all gone...only one qn left

2004-11-07T07:05:00.000+08:00

wat a quick sat, and now i feel like dying, half anyway, i wan to go to sch tmr, and er maybe go back my pri sch...yah..but rite now, i feel like a stupid freak..so the only thing i can tell me is that, the reason for all these problems are all cos ..cos the of the age problems, no one wod be ready..no one..so we werent lor..yah..so tats y..not cos of other problems...

y, y did everything turn out to be like this...i just hope that i have not lost a fren though, but as ppl say, it hard to stay fren with a guy, either too close or too far...the close part is over, but did anybody say anything bout the same thing not being able to happen again? ~~i hope no one said that before~~

talk about being depressed for only 1 1/2 hours, actually longer than that...but what to do, im leaving tmr midnight! even if i wan to deal with the problem, as in deeper or sth, i wun hav the time! i really feel disheartened but seriously, i just..feel so unimportant to everyone...esp ppl whom plays quite a part in my life..oh rather, i think i ask for too much...

u cannot make a person feel ur presence when secretly, he or she is nth in ur eyes..its makes sense, so i always tell myself, all ppl are pro, though they might not look it, but they are...and wat i get? everyone to like me? i dunno...

i thought of dying, after the eoys, but then decided to live until the netball carn and trip to china, cos i hav to see my relatives once more rite? then i jsut told myself that, if netball carn, out class win more than 4 games, i'll not die, but if less, i'll die, if in the middle, i'll find something else to help me decide...

we won 2 games..wonderful rite? so tata everyone...but hangon, i still need write note to everyone..and then er find the most suitable pill or sth to kill..i wan a painless death, though not those type of so graceful ones, where you put a chim book on ur lap, and you die in the beautiful back yard or sth, with the butterflies flying around you...but sth peaceful..yah..

not that i hav much money, so i wun actually write a will or sth...cos it will just make u dun wan to die, im sure of it..anyway, the small note for everyone will be enough lah..=)

i still need planning for this, so dun worry, if you wan to say anything to me, dun worri, im still there..cos i still need go back in china first, oh yah, then the class reunion..so..yah..maybe on shuting's bdae, 1 jan..dunno..hav to find a time where theres no one at home...not that theres anybody at home...

over, bye..

2004-11-05T17:33:00.000+08:00

first of all WOHO! everything is over!over! ~~camp~~, sch, exams, getting back of papers, netball carn and all the stuff...

ok first things first, so the exams, it was not as bad as i had thought, atleast i didnt die a terrible death, so atleast i can still live..i've decided not to die..see..

the before you know it, its the 3 day camp! im so freaky over camps that i didnt wan to go..haiz..lucky i did..yah...

the most freaky part was the rope elements, ppl just dun understand how scared i am of height..its really scary, and going up is just like telling me to drink up detergent, when just nice im allergic to detergent...

the rest was rather nice, of course except the part that i hav to help yanz and the rest block out the glaring sun..cos im tall mah..~~im such a nice person~~

then immediately, its netball carn! i didnt really expect our class to do well..it sounds bad, but we are really not that good..yah..and with me, the lousiest player there, our class might as well go and die..

i expected the reast of the team to actually practice, but guess wat, nah, they cant be bothered, no time..all the nice reasonable excuses would all pop up...might as well dun say anthing...

ok so for yanz its chicken feet, but im not a sports person..and i had a bit of muscle ache..and tata..i played 7 1/2 games...i didnt think it was that bad..well...ok fine, its bad...
hui hui was too fast for me..i still have not gotten out of my fatigue and stuff from camp and got hang of the defence and so on..and there i was, defending a NETBALLER..u get the idea..

of cos lah, yanz start telling me to jump..i feel really sorri k 103, pls forgive me, or i'll really go and die...but then lucky got a bit of the hang of the whole thingy and yah, was quite happi bout that part, but apparently, i can do better...

i noe everything i say will be bias and not rite..but i really have to say...i might not be good in netball, but i have the advantage when with shorter opponents, therefore, its er good to have me on the team...i cant really shoot well, but still better than some ppl..and though some ppl might think i cant attack that well, atleast i can run into space and not stand at one place and act like a model, pls, even model can move better than them..im talking bout the ppl in the team, we tried our best, we did our best, with the provided amount of enthusiasm given by the class, which was overwhelming..

some ppl just think that either we can do better or they can do better, keep giveing stupuid advice like, you must jump! and make everything sound like they can do better and you cant do anything on the team.. fine, maybe im not good, but i tried my best k? you all chose me to be on the team..and i believe im not that bad, i mean not as bad as some ppl in other classes.

i get emotionally unstable over these stuff and i really can freak and collapse just like that..you cant blame me, i have a bad childhood, a broken family...

we are like apples, when God made us, He took a bite out of everyone, those with more defects are those that God took a bigger bite out of, cos God liked them more...im the perfect apple..eaten by the worm, thrown away by God...

but then, i decided to just get over it..yrs down the road i might just find it as a lame thing to be sad over, but now, at least, im still not happy over it..but well...i shall be happy now..

then..now its bout that stupid gd fren of mine, cant be bother to do sth ..that leads to the unableness to send sth..and im unable to get sth...haiz..stupid person..sorri, u are suppose to be my gd fren, not aviode me...

argh!

2004-10-30T09:45:00.000+08:00

Ok fine, I might have some …like…super ~~brain~~ sponge that would absorb math stuff fast……but its usually cos my mum taught me before hand!!..and I dun even do things faster than yanz or zp! ..and the worst thing is that I thing my 3 great frens are also like heck care bout this..bout me! Fine! If they think they can find another person to replace me..with out even missing me..fine…im fine with it…all I can do is …sob …haiz..
Oh yah! That NANCY!! I still hav not forgiven her for looking down on me for math! Im not bad in math, just I like to heck care bout it! K? so now its time to prove ppl who think my math is lousy wrong! Cos im not bad at it! If sch work is a the rubric for u, then u might as well forget bout it! Cos the math stuff in sch is slightly too easy..u need real skills….whish im also looking…loL

Stupid im also getting sick…

bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH

2004-10-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

**bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH**
wonderful!...crap lah..totally screwed my eoys...and i noe im gonna die!...no one to help me...everybody got other stuff to do..and liek heck care bout me lor...im really depressed...seriously..but no one to help...so i cant say anything...

well, since ppl tell me to blog, i blog lor...im not really feeling great after the exams...need to find someone to talk..but no one there..haiz...how....i really dunno lor..everybody ignoring me...avoiding me....moving further away...

i feel like dying...heyy, its quite easy u noe..just write a nice long will...then tata..buy a nice bottle of sleeping pills and sleep ur way to heaven..i should try that...wait..do i hav enough money...i mean it k...im not joking...

i dun feel like writing much thought...so i tata here..but u might noe that the everyone..is not everyone...

bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH

2004-10-10T11:14:00.000+08:00

**bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH**
great, crap and stress..i dunno lor..i ithink i totally flunked my chinese..and i also feel that like my best fren is like moving further and further away from me...maybe i just think its my best fren..maybe its all fake..i mean how can a person's tone change so much?!?! i really dunno..i need support, i dun get any..i think i need presents on my bdae..i dun think i'll get any too....dunno lah..who cares..its gonna be the most pathetic bdae i will ever have, just me and my mum...not much presents...i dun wan a cake..cant finish...just go crystal jade and maybe eat lor..dunno..crap lah...i feel so darn stressed and the more you feel stressed the more you slack..ed keep telling me not to slack or regret like him..so ...dunno..im regreting..and im not gonna mug! ok..i feel like having study group next year, anyone interested? pls tell me k..its gonna be nice, i promise...=D tata...haha

now tat im in buckle com...i think its gonna be even more stressed lor..then some more i wan join guitar..dunno lah..crap i think its gonna doe..for eoy.... but then got this erm u noe horoscope thingy tat says tat if i mug, i'll score..dunno i take tat as an encouragment..so im happy lor..=) tata..haha..im happy now..so i slack a bit then do chinese..then mug for bio eoy then dunno lor..hehe..cya..love all of my close fren...and ppl who think im their close fren..hehe...anybody stressed can look for me and crap...i love to hear ppl talk..cya...bye...tata!

bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH

2004-10-04T21:18:00.000+08:00

**bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH**
now i hav a like mixed feelings..i never had this feeling before...it feels funny...i wonder if its really ..really..erm...dun tell u...thought it was clear it isnt..but it really sound like tat lor..i dunno lah...i tink i got headache liao..but cannot..this suppose to be nice and fuzzy and jsut dreamy and nice! haha..i really dunno..maybe go and ask..hm...

bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH

2004-09-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

**bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH**
today is so great...just wonderful...a mixture of so much things..cant hardly contain it man...
first, had a great d&t lesson...making my flower holder and starting on my clock...then sci was so fun cos the teacher was so funny...then buckle meeting, though not fun, but i was entrusted with a huge responsibility--if the four of us, the sports caps...the whole house's gonna suffer--but its not going to happen! yay..so must work hard for it right after EOYs...dun wan to think how near it is....groan...then i got home and ofund out that all my stuff was wet....great...all my lit notes are gone cos i used zig pen to write and it was totally drenched in water..how great can it get..nwo what am i going to do?

i really dunno...maybe i should organise myself and organise sth for the sports caps..dunno how to start yet..but will erm entrust it on the 2 cute cute sec2s first...so..jie jies...help hor...lol

bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH

2004-09-26T10:42:00.000+08:00

**bUcKlE rOckz tOo mUcH**
crap..now i hav my braces..dunno how to live for the rest of my life liao..its like quite painful la..then still nto used to it yet...but at least it green, tat cheered me up..:Dhaha..my mom cant stop laughing..now, im going to tell everyone the procidure of braces...so tat next time at least u noe wat to expect...

first, they might use this brutal thingy to expand ur mouth, so tat u can open wide, like a hungry monster..then they take pics of ur teeth...obvious trying to make a before and after diff later...

then they will wash ur teeth with this acidic thingy tat is sour and u can taste it..u hav to bear with it for very long..then tata...they wil clean it off..oh yah..btw at this point of time..the lip expander thingy is still there..so it makes u look like a complete idoit.then they will put this model thingy tat is exactly the shape of all ur teeth and with the brackets on it..they jsut stick the whole thing there...then they use this erm thingy to let the brackets stick on to ur teeth..then after some long time of sticking, they would remove the plastic model, but the brackets would stay there...tat...ur teeth are now offically stuck with bracket. then the wires come..with the GREEN rubber bands to hold them...my mother complains tt its too florencent green until scary liao...i dun care lah..its nice wah..lol...

so one advice i give to all those who are planning to put ion braces...pls pls pls put on green rubber bands...hehe

.:~*Bucklean*~//The Green Petals\\~*:.

thinkings

sometimes.. maturity aint that good

sigh

hm..

bored

HAVEN

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troubled

yay

i love life

sometimes i wonder..

hm...

life is sometimes findin the joy, not the flaws

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MY FIRST COMPETITION!!!

life is interesting

sch is ok lar.. bleh

lonely christmas.. wateva

Christmas wishes!!! lets me materialistic!! =)

hee bleh

hm..

你不在

haha.. recaps!

我爱的人

life

love

screwed

screwed

exams

theveronicas

life rocks/sucks

man.. poems by mr lee again!!

crazy thurs!!

cont'd

haha.. get well soon derek!

i hate u

lala

i love me

im so... rowk!

haha.. =)

i rawk

life is aching..

wateva lar

sick..sick ...sick

choir rocks!!!

loL

life is ok now

just let me die....really..

pistol mania

just let me die

until i get over u

crying

haiz..

its just life now...

guitar concert-ended on a HIGH note!

photos!

acsi faggots

ah.. screams..

stress out

stress out

im back in china

going away...maybe its a gd thing..but what if i miss those tt are in singapore?

im not suppose to be happy rite now...but i feel like the luckiest gal

happy, not happy, happy...

Your #1 Match: ENFP

Your #2 Match: ESFP

Your #3 Match: INFP

Your #4 Match: ISFP

Your #5 Match: ENFJ

confusion

confusion, closely followed by maybe depression...haha..and then i dunno le...

rocks

haiz..depression

hahaz im such a happy gal

ah...

kris+long talk= depression..again

philosophy!

swim heats..so heaty..loL

BUCKLEANS JOIN SWIM CARN

.:~Bucklean~//The Green Petals\\~*:.

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