crying

ok.. i hav never like.. just sit there and cry alone before ... i dun think so anyway.. im like super sad now.. and i dunno wat to do... how come things can turn out this way? like.. so horrible.. sth gd.. sth not bad.. turn into sth like this? i keep feeling its my fault.. too stubborn.. too possessive...too selfish.. maybe i am.. cos if i were to blame this on another person.. it seems unreasonable.. and it seems mean and stuff... well, it falls back to e basic fact of wat??? i dunno... everything just screw up like a crap com! im crazy le.. i dun wanna think bout it..but i still hav not reach their stage of not toking bout it yet.. haiz.. anyway.. wats e problem with it? its just.. almost nth! it was so crap ytd.. and now.. its like this! like wtf, its just nth! NTH!!! so y did it screw up like tt? i dunno!! i dunno!!! maybe tts how ppl see me when im depressed--depressed over small tini mini stuff.. well... at least now im lookin at it at another person's pt of view.. but i how i wish e person depressed is me.. so tt i dun hav to be so pained in seeing other ppl suffer.. and not being able to help.. it pains it.. badly.. like more than i am depressed.. knowing tt someone whom u care is not telling u sth.. just becos thou is sad and depressed.. i duno.. maybe its too much to ask from a depressed soul... i just wish fri would come soon.. maybe it would be over, maybe it wun.. but at least then i would be able to force everything out from them.. i dun care.. they agreed wah... so i can poke in on fri.. gonna blog again then.. maybe.. im telling u.. im going crazy. totally crazy. wat to do?
today whole day like cant concentrate. just cos too worried. i never knew, was i like tt? as in makin ppl this worried? i hope not.. if its really like tt, well.. im really sori. ok. i must stop dotting so much, i think its quite irritating for others. k too sad to write now

IM TELLING U, I HAV A WEAK HEART, LITERALLY. AS IN SOMETIMES MY HEART WILL BEAT SUPER FAST AND IM LIKE GONNA FAINT LIKE TT. GET IT? DUN FREAK ME, LIKE U ARE DOIN NOW.