Dear Ah Beng,
I currently have a boyfriend, who is good and kind to me, and we always have a pleasant time together. But recently, an old flame came back into my life. He is wild, irresponsible, and for some reason, I find him incredibly sexy. I am so tempted to have a fling with him, but am afraid of hurting my boyfriend. What can I do?
Torn Between Two Lovers

Dear Torn Between Two Lovers, To have to choose between two suitors is always a porblem. Choose one, and you will always wonder about what might have happened with the other. So I suggest you use 'lateral thinking'. I think so you have two choices. One: have a threesome with both of them. Two: get rid of both of them, and go out with a third party. If you choose option One, tell me, so I can come and watch. If you choose option Two, my brothers at the Chap Sar Tiam secret society got special offer this week on hooting. They can come and hoot your two friends upside down, and then you can pak tor with me. But only if you're a chio bu.
Ah Beng