gone all gone...only one qn left

wat a quick sat, and now i feel like dying, half anyway, i wan to go to sch tmr, and er maybe go back my pri sch...yah..but rite now, i feel like a stupid freak..so the only thing i can tell me is that, the reason for all these problems are all cos ..cos the of the age problems, no one wod be ready..no one..so we werent lor..yah..so tats y..not cos of other problems...

y, y did everything turn out to be like this...i just hope that i have not lost a fren though, but as ppl say, it hard to stay fren with a guy, either too close or too far...the close part is over, but did anybody say anything bout the same thing not being able to happen again? i hope no one said that before

talk about being depressed for only 1 1/2 hours, actually longer than that...but what to do, im leaving tmr midnight! even if i wan to deal with the problem, as in deeper or sth, i wun hav the time! i really feel disheartened but seriously, i just..feel so unimportant to everyone...esp ppl whom plays quite a part in my life..oh rather, i think i ask for too much...

u cannot make a person feel ur presence when secretly, he or she is nth in ur eyes..its makes sense, so i always tell myself, all ppl are pro, though they might not look it, but they are...and wat i get? everyone to like me? i dunno...

i thought of dying, after the eoys, but then decided to live until the netball carn and trip to china, cos i hav to see my relatives once more rite? then i jsut told myself that, if netball carn, out class win more than 4 games, i'll not die, but if less, i'll die, if in the middle, i'll find something else to help me decide...

we won 2 games..wonderful rite? so tata everyone...but hangon, i still need write note to everyone..and then er find the most suitable pill or sth to kill..i wan a painless death, though not those type of so graceful ones, where you put a chim book on ur lap, and you die in the beautiful back yard or sth, with the butterflies flying around you...but sth peaceful..yah..

not that i hav much money, so i wun actually write a will or sth...cos it will just make u dun wan to die, im sure of it..anyway, the small note for everyone will be enough lah..=)

i still need planning for this, so dun worry, if you wan to say anything to me, dun worri, im still there..cos i still need go back in china first, oh yah, then the class reunion..so..yah..maybe on shuting's bdae, 1 jan..dunno..hav to find a time where theres no one at home...not that theres anybody at home...